CliveH Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I replied, "No, I'm starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I did lose 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms!" I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog biscuits. Not one to let a good story go by the wayside, I shook my head, explaining that it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my b*lls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out of the door. But really - how silly ..........why else would I buy dog food??.... We are off for the first long w/e in the caravan this year Have a good w/e all! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Clive Clive you should be reading the joke section your late ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted April 26, 2007 Author Share Posted April 26, 2007 woops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Clive. That's wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Brilliant Clive. My wife nearly p*ssed herself when I read it out to her. Magic. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 My wife does that, but I think it's an age thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Give her a tenner then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralph Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Some things just hit the laugh button and this is definitely one for me. I've re-read the posting half a dozen times and I've cracked up each time :-D Dunno about a dog diet but if I keep reading it I'll lose weight from rolling about the floor. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 I buy cat biscuits to feed the fish in a local park .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . they really smell awful, I might try winalot next time :-> B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Ralph - 2007-04-27 8:56 PM Some things just hit the laugh button and this is definitely one for me. I've re-read the posting half a dozen times and I've cracked up each time :-D Dunno about a dog diet but if I keep reading it I'll lose weight from rolling about the floor. Well done. Looks like you don't need the dog diet if you're already rolling about on the floor like one, just don't do it in the middle of the road! 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Kirby Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 twooks - 2007-04-27 9:15 PM I buy cat biscuits to feed the fish in a local park .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . they really smell awful, I might try winalot next time :-> B-) Catfish? Dogfish? Hope there aren't any flying fish, he'll be getting bird seed next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 greatly biggly carp Brian, could do with some cat fish to clean up - and dogfish to see off the geese :-> :-> B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzy Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 It's like when you go into the Doctor's surgery and people ask 'are you alright' - hubby suggests telling them that I"ve gone back for my HIV test but I think that's a little near the knuckle maybe pregnancy test might be better as I'm childless and 53. ;-) Fish love cat treats - we feed Felix dried food to the carp near the Pub at Tring. Slightly OT - I fell 3 weeks ago and no one in the village made comment about my bruised face and limp ........... 8o| :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Next time you visit the Dr Lizzy tell em when they ask your hubby beats you .....te he.That should raise an eye brow hope your alright now. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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