Guest Jen's Grumpy Git Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 How To Translate Womenspeak When She Says She Really Means -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No...................................... Yes. Of course I'm not upset................. Of course I'm upset, you moron! I might as well tell you Bob and I are seeing each other......... Bob and I are having sex. I feel I've known you my whole life..... I'm drunk. Will you respect me in the morning?..... You won't tell your friends, will you? I never do this on my first date........ I always do this on my first date. Don't touch me there.................... Touch me there, but I'm going to stop you the first few times. You're...so manly....................... You need to shave and you sweat a lot. Hello? Oh yes. Didn't we meet at the bar Friday night?.... I've been waiting by the phone for thre days Let's not talk "commitment". Let's just see what happens...... I'm not taking any birth control pills. You're certainly lovely tonight......... Is sex all you ever think about? I can't believe you're here.It must be fate...... I've been following you all day. I'm particular who I have sex with...... I draw the line at barnyard animals. I'm not emotional and I'm not over-reacting...... I'm having my period. I hope you're not disappointed.......... I'm flat chested. Want to come upstairs for a nightcap?... Want to come upstairs and have sex? Just come upstairs for a drink.......... Maybe if I get you drunk you'll have sex with me. I love a man who takes charge........... You're picking up the bill, aren't you? Be romantic...turn out the lights....... I have flabby thighs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Why are builders so easy to confuse...... (look down) # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # I said LOOK DOWN, not scroll down *-) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Git Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Touche Donna. You got me - and I'm not even a builder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Brilliant...................... ONE LUV to Donna. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jen's Grumpy Git Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 WRONG............it's 15 - love .Doh Why is it call PMS ???? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.... :D 15 all I beleive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Now you know why they call me a mad cow. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Why is it when you get back from dinner at someone's house you get asked:- Did you notice 'her' shoes didn't match dress? Well if 'she' wore thigh lenght kinky boots or pink panther slippers playing theme tune I might have noticed. Did you notice the carpet matched the curtains? I think hard, and guess that as my shoes didn't make a clopping noise when walking then there must have been carpet, and when looking out window at the ,XLK super avant V8 4.8l 48v with 255/45x18 tyres on multi spoke alloys, there may well have been some type of material hang either side of window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Jen's Grumpy Git - 2007-09-10 10:27 PM WRONG............it's 15 - love .Doh Why is it call PMS ???? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.... :D 15 all I beleive Oh dear grumpy git, it just isn't your forte to take on women is it, Actually it's PMT as in Pre Menstrual Tension 30 - 15 :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 :D :D Oh dear I had better not laugh he may say I,m talking dirty again... & I have PMT and I also I hate men ........ :D :D :D Sorry have to laugh ...but in the nicest way of Course. :D :D :D (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest starspirit Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Surely the whole point about 'womenspeak' is that they all do far too much speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 starspirit - 2007-09-11 7:18 PM Surely the whole point about 'womenspeak' is that they all do far too much speaking. Steady on there tiger, you're on thin ice in this thread. :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Don't you start I'll have your guts for me witches brew :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man? She said...No, have you? He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind. He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest starspirit Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Very good J9. Have you ever noticed how jokes against men are deemed funny but jokes against women are deemed sexist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 No (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest starspirit Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I just have to wonder how some of the other 'men' on here who are also never wrong would react to such a partaking of the wee wee? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 If it's all done in a nice friendly and humourous way, then we can all have a laugh, regardless of our gender. However, not everyone is a woman, therefore you can't be right as often as we are. My dad once said to me when I was playing up " one day, you'll have kids of your own" " so will you" I said :D (The bruising went down after a week) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I agree I dont mind anyone taking the mick as long as its not down right offensive or directed at someone person. That said This is getting worse ! :D :D :D :D :D And I still have the girls winning :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 starspirit - 2007-09-11 7:33 PM I just have to wonder how some of the other 'men' on here who are also never wrong would react to such a partaking of the wee wee? Errm, excuse me, Mr Ricardo, but a 'man' started this thread with some pretty diabolical jokes *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jen's Grumpy Git Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Er !! Excuse me .......Is that a motorhome as your picci or have you reversed an old van into the back of an old caravan? You can give it but can you take it..NOT :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Tomo, I bet your not as old as you say you are ! I can not remember your exact words was it 4th camper or doing it twenty years? which one fails me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jen's Grumpy Git Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I bet your not as old as you say you are ! Do you mean I am actually younger?? Or are you just being another confused woman? If I said that I have had 4 motorhomes in the last 30 years does that mean I am at LEAST 47? So If I have had 4 motorhomes in the last 20 years then I amd 37 ? right? I do realise that this is all too confusing for you so if you want to pm me I will try to explain basic maths Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Jen's Grumpy Git - 2007-09-11 10:24 PM Er !! Excuse me .......Is that a motorhome as your picci or have you reversed an old van into the back of an old caravan? You can give it but can you take it..NOT :D All I can say to you is you need to go get your nappy changed with the above attitude . And with the reply you sent me just now, you just make yourself look pathetic ....Done me a favor ..........Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jen's Grumpy Git Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 How does it make me pathetic.............you are the one with the lonely grey cell. So are you saying I'm younger than I claim or what?? You are a little confused..........keep off the glue deary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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