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Womenspeak


Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

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Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

How To Translate Womenspeak

 

When She Says She Really Means

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

No...................................... Yes.

Of course I'm not upset................. Of course I'm upset, you moron!

I might as well tell you

Bob and I are seeing each other......... Bob and I are having sex.

I feel I've known you my whole life..... I'm drunk.

Will you respect me in the morning?..... You won't tell your friends, will you?

I never do this on my first date........ I always do this on my first date.

Don't touch me there.................... Touch me there, but I'm going to stop you

the first few times.

You're...so manly....................... You need to shave and you sweat a lot.

Hello? Oh yes. Didn't we meet at the

bar Friday night?.... I've been waiting by the phone for thre days

Let's not talk "commitment". Let's

just see what happens...... I'm not taking any birth control pills.

You're certainly lovely tonight......... Is sex all you ever think about?

I can't believe you're here.It must

be fate...... I've been following you all day.

I'm particular who I have sex with...... I draw the line at barnyard animals.

I'm not emotional and

I'm not over-reacting...... I'm having my period.

I hope you're not disappointed.......... I'm flat chested.

Want to come upstairs for a nightcap?... Want to come upstairs and have sex?

Just come upstairs for a drink.......... Maybe if I get you drunk you'll have sex with me.

I love a man who takes charge........... You're picking up the bill, aren't you?

Be romantic...turn out the lights....... I have flabby thighs.

 

 

 

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Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

WRONG............it's 15 - love .Doh

 

Why is it call PMS ????

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken....

 

 

 

 

 

:D

15 all I beleive

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Why is it when you get back from dinner at someone's house you get asked:-

Did you notice 'her' shoes didn't match dress?

Well if 'she' wore thigh lenght kinky boots or pink panther slippers playing theme tune I might have noticed.

 

Did you notice the carpet matched the curtains?

I think hard, and guess that as my shoes didn't make a clopping noise when walking then there must have been carpet, and when looking out window at the ,XLK super avant V8 4.8l 48v with 255/45x18 tyres on multi spoke alloys, there may well have been some type of material hang either side of window.

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Jen's Grumpy Git - 2007-09-10 10:27 PM

 

WRONG............it's 15 - love .Doh

 

Why is it call PMS ????

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken....

 

 

 

 

 

:D

15 all I beleive

 

 

Oh dear grumpy git, it just isn't your forte to take on women is it,

Actually it's PMT as in Pre Menstrual Tension

 

30 - 15 :-D

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He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

 

She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

 

He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

 

She said...No, have you?

 

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

 

She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

 

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

 

She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

 

 

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If it's all done in a nice friendly and humourous way, then we can all have a laugh, regardless of our gender.

However, not everyone is a woman, therefore you can't be right as often as we are.

 

My dad once said to me when I was playing up " one day, you'll have kids of your own"

" so will you" I said :D

(The bruising went down after a week)

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Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

Er !! Excuse me .......Is that a motorhome as your picci or have you reversed an old van into the back of an old caravan?

 

 

 

You can give it but can you take it..NOT

 

:D

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Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

I bet your not as old as you say you are !

 

 

Do you mean I am actually younger?? Or are you just being another confused woman?

 

If I said that I have had 4 motorhomes in the last 30 years does that mean I am at LEAST 47?

 

So If I have had 4 motorhomes in the last 20 years then I amd 37 ? right?

 

I do realise that this is all too confusing for you so if you want to pm me I will try to explain basic maths

 

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Jen's Grumpy Git - 2007-09-11 10:24 PM

 

Er !! Excuse me .......Is that a motorhome as your picci or have you reversed an old van into the back of an old caravan?

 

 

 

You can give it but can you take it..NOT

 

:D

All I can say to you is you need to go get your nappy changed with the above attitude . And with the reply you sent me just now, you just make yourself look pathetic ....Done me a favor ..........Thanks

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Guest Jen's Grumpy Git

How does it make me pathetic.............you are the one with the lonely grey cell.

 

So are you saying I'm younger than I claim or what??

 

You are a little confused..........keep off the glue deary

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