nightrider Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Here is a new twist to my tumble which leaves me in a bit of a dilemma? So I have started a new thread about it and that is, what if I had been killed as a result of my fall? I wont hide the fact that I am 69 in september and I will die from an accident or natural causes and that is going to cause problems for those left behind, I have got a lifetimes collection of tools and equipment and a comprehensive woodworking shop in my back garden. Thousands of pounds worth of woodworking machinery that neither my biological son or stepsons would understand or know the value of, my own son says it would be a nightmare to dispose of, my stepsons and my son dont get on with each other, last night one of my stepsons hinted that I should make a will to clarify things. My two stepsons are in high powered professional jobs and are thousands of pounds in debt, my own son has a head full of magic and will never have any money in his pocket as long as he has a hole in his a*** So what do I do? leave instructions to the grave digger to dig a b***** big hole to accommodate me and all my tools? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie gibblebucket Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Of course you should write a will, don't keep putting it off. Anyone with anything of value should do one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Interesting one this Malc. My Mother, whose behaviour at times I shall charitably describe as mildly challenging, presents me with similar dilemmas/head scratching moments. My Brother and his Family have now given up on her completely and to a point I can see why. Although I take no pleasure in saying so, she is a very difficult person. She's 82 and entitled to be crotchety some might say but as I say, they've had enough. I too have been the recipient of her extremes but on the whole I've stuck by her as I promised my late Father I would, he knew how difficult she was. I am her sole carer and am happy to be it too. Mother regularly trots out the "Cats Home's Getting the lot" line. Then on another, it's, "Those who take care of me, gets the lot" It changes like the wind. I honestly wish at times she was skint but still was able to lead the comfortable life that she does. Money truly is the root of all evil. Martyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 A will is always a good thing to have. In fact i would say there is not a single good reason for NOT having a will. And in view of what you have written you may want to be aware that without a Will, the laws of Intestacy state:- "The definition of children now includes legitimate, illegitimate or legally adopted children but not stepchildren." Similarly your good lady wife may have something to say about only being elligible for a limited proportion of your estate. So without a Will the laws of intestacy apply and they are as follows:- "If you do not make a will and you die leaving no traceable relatives, your estate will go to the Crown and will form part of government funds. By making a will and appointing an executor, one of the advantages is the flexibility allowed to that executor to move money around in a variable market in order to make the safest investment for your appointed heirs. If an executor has not been appointed in a will, or if a will has not been made out, then the deceased's property, including personal belongings, will be administered by a personal representative. This representative is appointed by the Probate Registry in accordance with strict rules of priority These rules state that a spouse has the first right to be appointed to administer the deceased's estate. But if the surviving spouse does not feel willing or able to handle the job, the couple's children may be appointed to act on their parent's behalf. When there is no surviving spouse or children then the task of administering the estate can fall on close relatives, ie parents, brothers, sisters or their issue. A close friend may be appointed attorney by the person entitled to act and, if suitable, will be appointed administrator, although this does not often happen. Whoever is appointed has a duty to administer the estate to see that, where necessary, the assets are sold at the best possible price and any debts and expenses paid off. Once that has been done, distribution takes place in accordance with the Administration of Estates Act. This Act governs the distribution of an estate when the deceased has died intestate. Under the Act, if you were the appointed representative, you would have the power to deal with the estate as you thought fit in order to safeguard the assets. Of course, you are accountable for your actions. You can claim administrative costs and out-of-pocket expenses from the estate, such as stamps, telephone calls and so on. Also, if you have had to forfeit a day's pay in attending to estate affairs you can reclaim the amount of pay lost, but you cannot charge for your time. After letters of administration have been granted by the Probate Registry and once all debts and expenses have been paid distribution can take place. Again, there is an order of priority. If there is a surviving spouse and issue, the spouse receives all the deceased's personal items (known as,personal effects) together with a sum up to the value of the statutory legacy which is £125,000. Should the value of the estate exceed this and there is also issue, then the surviving spouse would receive half of the balance of the estate for life. In other words, the half of what remains after the personal effects, the statutory legacy of £125,000, and debts and expenses have been deducted. The remaining half would go to any children immediately, except if they are under the age of 18. If any child did die in the lifetime of the deceased leaving children of his or her own, then those children would divide their parent's share between them. On the death of the surviving spouse the half of the estate which he or she has had a life interest in would pass to the children. Therefore, it is important to understand fully what life interest means. Life interest could be described as borrowed ownership in that you have the right to use the interest from the capital but cannot touch the capital as it does not legally belong to you. Upon death, the life interest passes to the other beneficiaries, for example the children, and is divided up equally for their benefit. Again, if any children of the deceased died in his or her lifetime leaving children of their own, then the same applies as in the above paragraph. When children are the nearest surviving relatives of the deceased, the estate passes to them or, if some have already died leaving children of their own, to their issue, ie grandchildren or great grandchildren of the testator. The shares are held in a statutory trust for the children, in equal parts, until each reaches the age of 18 or marries, whichever happens first. The definition of children now includes legitimate, illegitimate or legally adopted children but not stepchildren. In a case where there is a surviving spouse but no issue, the spouse's statutory legacy increases to £200,000 in addition to the personal effects. If the estate is larger than this and there are no surviving issue, but other relations are alive, such as parents, brothers, sisters, etc, then the spouse receives all the personal effects together with £200,000 and half of the residue of the estate absolutely, with no life interest being applicable. If a brother or sister of the deceased dies in the deceased's lifetime, leaving children, then their children will take the deceased parent's share divided equally between them. Should a person die leaving a surviving spouse but no children, or other issue, or indeed parents, brothers or sisters or their issue, in other words no blood relative, the surviving spouse receives the whole of the estate, irrespective of its value. Sadly, disputes do arise whether or not you leave a will. However, because of the existence of a will, provided it is properly worded, these disputes can be reduced." Hope this helps. You can make a Will easily and without a great deal of expence. I think WH Smiths sell a do it yourself will Kit for a couple of quid. My advice is do do it now before you have another tumble! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightrider Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 Its an issue that will have to be addressed as soon as possible, I will have a word with my wife tonight, I dont want any problems after I have gone. I also have my ex-wife putting her two pennorth in as well, 25 years after we divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Martyn - You have my sympathy! - My Mother in Law could be difficult and liked to run my poor wife a merry dance! - She died in January last year and tho it is sad in one way, the difference in my wife is staggering. It is like a wieght having been taken off her. We feel guilty just saying that but when mentioned to other people who have had the same - the responce is always the same one of "Yes we have been there! - now go out and enjoy the freedom!" My MiL used to want her gutters cleared on a regular basis and i was happy to do it. but on one notable occaision i popped round to see her in a good suit on the way to see a client. She said - "Good you have come round to do my gutters" - I said "Not today as I have to work!" - at which point i got the "I don't ask for much/It would not take you long/Why carn't you do it now" treatment. She would just not see that clearing out gutters in one of my best suits when i had an appointment in 30 min was just not on! On a more serious note. Do not forget that if a relative does have a will that is unfair or vindictive in some way then there is a two year window for a thing called a "Deed of Variation" where you can apply to have the wording changed. So even if you do have a relative that changes their will to leave all to the cats home! - you can apply to have that changed - BUT it has to be done within two years of the persons death. http://www.gb-legal.com/UK%20Deed%20of%20Variation.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Clive, thanks for your understanding words. You mustn't feel guilty about "weight off shoulder etc" because you have your own lives to lead. I'm sure you both did your very best for your MiL, but if it's anything like my Mother, it won't have been enough. Example. Mum, I need some bedding plants. Me, no probs, tomorrow we'll go. Mum, will you plant them for me? Me, no probs, but it will be over a day or 2 as my back is sore. Mum, well have some time off work and we'll go on a little holiday. Me, ok I'll have a few days off and we'll go to wherever. Mum, a few days? no no no, I'm thinking at least a week. Me Ok I've got a week off. Mum, A week? what's the point of a week? Me, well I have a job/wife/life etc. Mum You just don't care about me do you? Forget I mentioned it. Get the picture? She's my Mother, I love her and I forgive her just about anything, but crikey it's hard at times. Martyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkc Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I don't wish to be disrespectful M'Lord, (doffs cap) but it is the love of money that is the root of all evil, (tugs forelock backs out of room). Regards PKC.. “The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.” ..... Anatole France Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred22 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Hi, why not take the problem away. Sell your equipment and enjoy spending the cash. This way you will get what you know it is worth and prevent your relations arguing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Nice one PKC, you're quite correct to tighten up on my quote. Next time time though, make sure your doffs a tad more practised :D :D Martyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Momma Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 knight of the road - 2009-06-17 10:06 AM Its an issue that will have to be addressed as soon as possible, I will have a word with my wife tonight, I dont want any problems after I have gone. I also have my ex-wife putting her two pennorth in as well, 25 years after we divorced. I was divorced 4 years ago and have since re-married. I have 2 daughters and a stepson. My youngest daughter elected to stay with me when her mother walked out for a younger model. However, due to work commitments I had to re-locate and as she had a boyfreind she did not want to leave him, and her freinds behind (She was 15 years old at the time) she decided to go back and live with her mother. Since then my daughter has had nothing to do with me other han to take the monthly CSA payments (which her mother did not pay to me when I was the sole carer). My ex is a money grabber but after this month when the CSA payments end she will not be entitled to anything else. However, neither myself or my new wife have made wills and we have discussed this recently as if anything happens to me I just know that my ex will try to demand that my youngest daughter get's her share of any inheritance. My eldest daughter (25 years old) I see on a regular basis and she phones me 2-3 times a week and we have a wonderful relationship. She also considers my wife to be her Mum and has told her so. My stepson will be 21 years old on Monday and he currently still lves with us. Both my daughter and stepson get on really well. If either one of us were to die we have no concerns that there would be any 'in fighting' between my eldest daughter or stepson. However, if I were to die first, and this is highly likely as I am ove 8 years older than my wife, then I a sure the problems would be created through my 'estranged' daughter. This thread has certainly brought this important subject back to high profile and I must make a concerted effort to do something about it. Thanks Malc for raising an issue that many of us either do not want to think about or who put it in the 'pending' tray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pagey Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 malc your legalities seem to have been answered but as fred said if you are sure you are finished with the tools dispose of them on ebay and enjoy the funds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W3526602 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Hi, Just a thought ..... if all else fails .... our local Volunteer Centre collect old tools, recondition where necessary, and ship them out to Tanzania, where the locals use them to make a living. My mate, who does "house clearances" takes a load in every week. I'm not suggesting you should do the same, but if you tkink your treasures may finish up on the tip ........ 602 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Some people think that doing a will is morbid ... it isn't, it's actually a 'good' thing! Both for the people who's will it is as they can 'get their house in order' so they know that their goods/chattels/funds will go to where they want them to, as well as for those who will benefit from the 'gifts', and those who are going to be left to sort everything out. It can be distressing enough anyway so doing this will not only let them know what you want to do, it means they aren't having to guess and worry if they are doing the right thing. We have had wills for a long time, we were able to get them done cheaply initially (£50 for both I think), and then when I was in a union we were able to get them updated for free. Our wills state what we want to happen to all our bits and bobs, who gets the dosh, or a share of it (pet charities will benefit very nicely!), what we want to happen with our remains (cremation), what type of service, if any, we want, etc, and who will be the executor(s). Once it's done you can then forget about it and just go on enjoying life, just make sure you update it if things change, not the minor stuff, but major stuff. The trick to not having to update wills too much is to keep the 'descriptions' accurate but not too specific, eg if you have a classic car to be disposed of, then leave it as 'classic car(s)', not BMW Isetta! That way if you change the car you don't have to get the will amended. Same as monetary things - instead of saying such and such an amount, you could say a percentage of the worth of the estate. One final thing, which a lot of people don't think about, is pets. We have signed up for an arrangement whereby if anything happens to us, our dogs will be cared for by the Dogs Trust for life if none of our relatives/friends are able to take them on - you can't assume this will happen as people have their own lives to lead. This benefits us as we don't have the worry as to what will happen to them, or that they will be simply put down, which can happen. This hasn't cost us a penny but, of course, we are more than happy to have some of our estate go to the Dogs Trust to keep up the good work. Don't put it off, just do it, once you start you'll wonder why you didn't do it before - it can take a bit of thinking about, but you soon get into the swing of it and before you know it, you've sorted everything out. Just make sure that your 'nearest and dearest' know where the ruddy thing is though!!! *-) Forgot to say - you can get the standard forms from stationers, post offices etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie gibblebucket Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 As well as each having a will, we have an enduring Power of Attorney. It doesn't bear thinking about, but what if you had an accident that didn't kill you, but left you incapable of looking after your own affairs? It means you can authorise somebody now, and register it with the appropriate office, so that if the worst were to happen, everything is in place for your appointed person to manage your finances. In my case its my brother, obviously it has to be someone you trust implicitly. Mel mentioned her dogs, its great that she has thought about them and made arrangements for their care, its only when you really look into it all that you realise just how much would need to be sorted out on your death. We originally made wills because I have grown up son from a previous marriage, but don't have any children with my now husband. As my son doesn't really have anything to do with us, (but is nevertheless my son) it was important to get our decisions put on a more formal basis. Things can get complicated in families after all and I have loyalties both ways. I think our Wills only cost about £50 for the two as well. Definitely worth doing. I expect Solicitors make more money from sorting out the mess when no will is left than they do from charging to write one up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MandyAndy Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 My mum 83 is amazing, we talk about her death all the time as we did with my dad before he died, in fact it is like a family joke. She has named nearly everything she has in her will and knows exactly who gets what and the 3 daughters more or less know too. So when she is gone even her funeral is booked and paid for , she chose her own coffin and hymns for the service etc. I think it is a great way to be and my dads funeral was just amazing and we laughed nearly all day which is just what he would have wanted. I am 51 and recently started to think I need to get it done, last Saturday a neighbour of 56 (who lived alone) went to bed and never woke up. Not been ill , still working full time and have a great life as a single man. Kind of makes you think when things like that happen. Post Office also has a DIY will for sale. Mandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 If you do a search on 'DIY will' on the web you can get some downloadable ones too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I had a huge collection of old tools that belonged to my Dad, my Uncle, my Father in Law and even a couple of next door neighbours who had all died and I had 'inherited' the tools mainly because their respective wives knew that I value good tools and they knew of no one else to give them to. So I donated them in several lots over the years to - http://www.workaid.org/ The unpaid voluntary collectors were very grateful to have all the tools and sewing machines etc that they could get and I felt happy knowing that they were going to a good home rather than be converted into cash going into someone else's pocket. To see their tools being used by grateful recipients is just what their original owner's would have wanted and when I kick the bucket my wife and son know exactly what to do with all my surplus tools. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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