J9withdogs Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I can't remember whether I've put this on before...but it made me smile, so hey... BEING BRITISH. Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally... In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. Proud to be British? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malc d Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I'm quite pleased to be British but it's getting increasingly difficult to be 'proud' of it. :-( :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkc Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 RESERVED The English are a strange race, I've always thought them so. walk past them on your local street, they don't even say hello. But don a pair of walking boots, get up as day is dawning, meet them on some God forsaken path, then it's "Hello, nice day, good morning". Stand them at a bus stop or a station waiting room, they'll stare at walls and ceiling, Then hum a little tune. But put them in a strange hotel. set them down for their breakfast, then suddenly they have to greet, every stranger who walks past. "Good morning", smile. "Morning", nod. "How are you? did you sleep well?" two cups of tea, then goodness me their back inside their shell! PKC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Very Good, PKC. (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
602 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Hi Didn't some British farmers protest at EU beef being served at school meals? No doubt, after the protest they all returned to their farms in their Japanese 4x4s? 602 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I don't remember any farmers protest about beef but I am sure it has happened. But I do remember an interview with a farmer who was protesting at our all eating French apples and having a right go at us all for not supporting British Farmers. And then he was shown getting in and driving a Renault 4 (it was some time ago!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duffers Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 ah but the sensayuma's pure english - innit >:-) >:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hymer C 9. Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Have to smile quietly, its all true, ridiculous but true. 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W3526602 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Hi, A policeman once stopped me (1959). I told him it wasn't "British" for him to ride a red motorcycle. 8-) I mean, when I look in my mirror, how can I tell he is a copper? 602 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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