Guest Tracker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He asked, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product? " She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." "If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?" "We use it for sex," she said. The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?" The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out of the room." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapido-lass Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Thanks Rich that gave me something to chuckle about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 You are welcome Cathy! How about this one then! A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a well known basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. 'What's that?' the lady asks. 'Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me. Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE. 'What's that?' the lady questions again. 'Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV.' Then the man drops his underwear and on his manhood he has a tattoo that seems to say AIDS. 'You didn't tell me you had AIDS!' the lady screams. 'No, no! Calm down,' the man replies. 'This will say ADIDAS in a minute !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 But this one is a bit worrying! Don't know if this is just a coincidence but .... 2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia 2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing 2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe. Has any one else noticed this - but hang on - it gets worse........ next year...... 2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Three Old Men "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old. "No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30...... So what's so bad about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00!" DON'T LAUGH - IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU TOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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