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Charles Darwin anyone?


net-traveller

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As some will already know there are now the annual "Darwin Awards", given to those people who have helped the future evolutionary process of the human species by removing themselves form the gene-pool in the most stupidest ways.

 

 

 

The 2008 Darwin Award Nominees are (and all of these are true):

 

 

Eighth Place.

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

 

Seventh Place.

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned' when he ran,

accidentally jogged right off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

 

Sixth Place.

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and then sat on a beach chair at the bottom of it.

The walls were of course sand, and they promptly collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.

People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out

but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at the scene.

 

Fifth Place.

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.

His death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull when he hit the

floor.

 

Fourth Place.

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his

mouth and pull the trigger.

 

Third Place.

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at

the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on

robbing the store.

The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was

standing at the counter at the time he chose.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a shop clerk and several customers all drew their own guns and all shot him.

The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

 

HONOURABLE MENTION.

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2am so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the car window to see what would happen.

Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

 

RUNNER UP.

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at

4:30am.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one

had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of steel cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge.

His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his continued fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.

Bingham's foot was never located.

 

 

 

AND THE WINNER For 2008 IS...

 

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated pet elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top

of him.

 

 

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT

TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE

POOL.

 

 

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