Mel B Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 LOVE STORY I will seek and find you . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I have finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot! :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 17, 2007 Author Share Posted April 17, 2007 And another ..... with apologies to those of a sensitive nature. :-S Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher tried to catch little April out to see if she was paying attention in class. She called on her while she was napping. "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pen and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had their twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pen. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR A*SE!" The Teacher fainted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Howie, you're right about Miss sweetness and light. Don't listen Tony. Hee Hee, Good ones Mel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Mel B - 2007-04-17 8:42 PM My dearest Dancer. I will seek and find you . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I have finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days. All my love, Melanie XXX :-DNot an expert on such things Frank, but reading between the lines I think you,ve pulled big time here. Hope she treats you gentle, but if things get rough on the physical side of this relationship then you can always borrow my helmet and goggles. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Might take you up on that Howie. Although I suspect that is not Mels signature on the bottom. oops. But! Been doing some tree felling recently at work. PS. Does Mel have a signature on the bottom? Dare we ask? Would we like the answer? PPS. I am holidaying in N/Yorkshire in a couple of weeks, hope I am not in range if the above offends. PPPS. I hope my other half is not in range if the above does not offend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 18, 2007 Author Share Posted April 18, 2007 You're all just going to have to keep guessing ... NO ONE is going to see my bottom!!!!!! 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 You always get one who won't play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Don,t take it to heart Frank. Mel,s at a difficult age and always blowing hot and cold. As for showing that signature on her bum, this might simply be down to that old problem of file size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Glad I did'nt say that Howie. Maybe it's just shyness. If I could get my avatar to work, maybe I could give you & Tony a run for your money, my dad had a bike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 19, 2007 Author Share Posted April 19, 2007 Howie, stop being so naughty, there's nothing wrong with my derrier thanks and it certainly is much prettier that your face my sweet, I just didn't want to get you too excited, I hear that too much fun at your age isn't a good thing especailly since you've been poorly lately (can't hack it eh?!:-S ) And Dancer, well indeed ... nothing shy about me so don't you go and get your tutu in a twist me old twinkle toes, just keep sewing on the sequins and dazzling everyone on the dance floor.(lol) I'm sure Tony will be proud of me when I say "I shall turn the other cheek" ... but the question is ... do I really mean it! > :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 I have to sew the sequins on in the dark, otherwise I do get dazzled. Amazing where you find them stitched. Good initial poem though, even after poor poorley Howie got at it. I think it's an age thing, he can only talk now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Jones Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Mel B - 2007-04-19 8:42 PM I'm sure Tony will be proud of me when I say "I shall turn the other cheek" ... but the question is ... do I really mean it! > :D And then the other cheek, and the other cheek? Somehow I don't think that's what the orginal quote had in mind! T x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I think you're right there Tony. Were'nt they chucking stones, or insults originally? *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons. TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go any where, you have to light a fire under their butt SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people. EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying :D :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Maybe a little bias in there Mel??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 Don't blame me, I didn't write it, it was sent to me in an email .... (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.