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Great sayings
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userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 12:35 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 12:38 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Hobby Van EXC - Milton Keynes Bucks.


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 12:40 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
userThai Bry
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:06 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!!!

Thai

userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:16 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Hobby Van EXC - Milton Keynes Bucks.


If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
userdonna miller
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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It is better to have loved and lost, than to have spent your whole life w******g
userdonna miller
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:22 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Full as an egg.

Never heard that before I moved to Wales, maybe it's a local saying.
userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:23 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

userBazza454
Posted: 15 August 2007 1:25 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Hobby Van EXC - Milton Keynes Bucks.


The ship is NOT sinking.

There is no cause for alarm.

The little dot you see on the horizon is your Captain and his Co-Pilot.

usernet-traveller
Posted: 15 August 2007 2:28 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 
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The more things change, the more they remain the same.

usercaraprof
Posted: 15 August 2007 3:19 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


Some Sayings of the Great Mandarin Sages

  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just p*ss off and leave me alone.

     

  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a flat tyre.

     

  3. Remember, no is listening – until you fart.

     

  4. Never test the depth of water with both feet.

     

  5. If you think that no one cares if you are dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

     

  6. Before you judge someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

     

  7. If at first you don’t succeed, avoid skydiving.

     

  8. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

     

  9. When we are born we are naked, wet and hungry and get smacked on our arse. From then on life gets worse.

     

  10. Give a man fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 

 

userSyd
Posted: 15 August 2007 4:02 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


Just going to get some help

said the pilot with a parachute on his back
userdavenewell@home
Posted: 15 August 2007 4:40 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! Michael Caine in The Italian Job.

D.
usercaraprof
Posted: 15 August 2007 5:39 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


Anyone fancy a dip?

Michael Barrymore

usermichele
Posted: 15 August 2007 6:20 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Over the years i have learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others ! They are more screw up than you think .
usermichele
Posted: 15 August 2007 7:24 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Rapido ..ask him what size


Over the years I have learned that you cannot make someone love you !
just stalk them and hope they panic and give in
userHymer C 9.
Posted: 15 August 2007 7:26 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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My Nan always used to say, a little bit of help is worth a lot of pity.
usermichele
Posted: 15 August 2007 7:41 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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You have to be cruel to be kind
userMick H.
Posted: 15 August 2007 9:45 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Once a king,always a king'
but once a knight is enough.
userMel B
Posted: 15 August 2007 10:07 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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WARNING: This forum may contain nuts!
userSyd
Posted: 15 August 2007 11:40 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


Thank god they didnt choose us

The mayor of Nagasaki
userhowie
Posted: 15 August 2007 11:53 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Dunnshargin


Bit cruel that Sid.
Lost, black and white mongrel dog.
Broken tail, blind, deaf, one leg missing, suffers from mange and neutured.
Answers to the name of Lucky.
userdonna miller
Posted: 16 August 2007 7:58 AM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Missing
Wife and dog, not seen since saturday morning.
Reward for safe return of the dog.
userUsinmyknaus
Posted: 16 August 2007 10:36 AM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 
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Three most useless things in aviation: fuel on the ground, runway behind you, sky above you.

Behind every successful man there's a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man there's a woman with a shopping habit.

Corner shop sign in Salford: Please do not ask for credit, a smack in the mouth often offends.

Bob

Er Howie, Hiroshima 1946? Did the Yanks go back again to make sure? P'raps you were distracted by Michelle's pics?->
userMike Parke
Posted: 16 August 2007 11:10 AM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 
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Never critise a man's ability as 1) a driver : 2) a sportsman : 3) a lover!!
userhowie
Posted: 16 August 2007 12:52 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Dunnshargin


Usinmyknaus - 2007-08-16 10:36 AM



Er Howie, Hiroshima 1946? Did the Yanks go back again to make sure? P'raps you were distracted by Michelle's pics?->
Let he that never gets his history wrong cast the first stone.
usermalc d
Posted: 16 August 2007 3:15 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 
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How about:

Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people
userMick H.
Posted: 16 August 2007 4:32 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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howie - 2007-08-16 12:52 PM

Usinmyknaus - 2007-08-16 10:36 AM



Er Howie, Hiroshima 1946? Did the Yanks go back again to make sure? P'raps you were distracted by Michelle's pics?->
Let he that never gets his history wrong cast the first stone.


People who live in stone houses,shouldn't throw glass.
userhowie
Posted: 16 August 2007 5:56 PM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 


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Location: Dunnshargin


Still working on that one Mick.

The pen is mightier than the sword. ( Anyone seen Elvis. I think he was sitting between me and Bigfoot on the u.f.o. today but i,m not sure.)
userRanger
Posted: 17 August 2007 12:47 AM
Subject: RE: Great sayings
 
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Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
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