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How about the old story book back for a laugh . Real one


michele

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AS she walked she looked behind her , far off on the beach she could made out a figure in the distance . She wasnt sure if it was male or female but she just knew she had to hurry back to her M/home something just didnt feel right ..................................................to be continued.............

 

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She looked hard at the figure approaching, then the terror washed over her as she recognised the gait, she dropped the letter she was writing to her one true love and the blood drained from her head and she fell into a dead faint seconds after she realised who it was, , "OH MY GOD she screamed "it's FG with his spell checker..................
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Guest JudgeMental
NOTE TO NEWBIES: Michele has been known to cheat at this in the past, and quote from a certain common as muck, cockney authoress that she admires...keep an eye on her :D
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Then there was a great thunderclap & a brilliant flash of light… & when the smoke cleared, in front of her appeared a white horse rearing on its hind legs, the rider, with white locks flowing in the wind, in full control.

The rider shouted, “Never fear young lady … it’s….it’s….it’s… Kirbyman to the rescue!!

 

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Guest pelmetman
JudgeMental - 2012-02-20 9:48 AM

 

KILL EM ALL!

 

(my favorite movie line)

 

The End :D....................................but is it?................us the undead from MHF start to rise up 8-)

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laimeduck - 2012-02-20 9:47 AM

 

Then there was a great thunderclap & a brilliant flash of light… & when the smoke cleared, in front of her appeared a white horse rearing on its hind legs, the rider, with white locks flowing in the wind, in full control.

The rider shouted, “Never fear young lady … it’s….it’s….it’s… Kirbyman to the rescue!!

 

 

..................But unfortunately, Kirbyman took so long explaining what he was there to do, that FG strode past him, and with hatred in his eyes, grabbed our damsel and threw her to the floor...........................

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donna miller - 2012-02-20 3:29 PM

 

laimeduck - 2012-02-20 9:47 AM

 

Then there was a great thunderclap & a brilliant flash of light… & when the smoke cleared, in front of her appeared a white horse rearing on its hind legs, the rider, with white locks flowing in the wind, in full control.

The rider shouted, “Never fear young lady … it’s….it’s….it’s… Kirbyman to the rescue!!

 

 

..................But unfortunately, Kirbyman took so long explaining what he was there to do, that FG strode past him, and with hatred in his eyes, grabbed our damsel and threw her to the floor...........................

and began to fumble under his robe and began extracting his....................
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peter - 2012-02-20 4:41 PM

 

donna miller - 2012-02-20 3:29 PM

 

laimeduck - 2012-02-20 9:47 AM

 

Then there was a great thunderclap & a brilliant flash of light… & when the smoke cleared, in front of her appeared a white horse rearing on its hind legs, the rider, with white locks flowing in the wind, in full control.

The rider shouted, “Never fear young lady … it’s….it’s….it’s… Kirbyman to the rescue!!

 

 

..................But unfortunately, Kirbyman took so long explaining what he was there to do, that FG strode past him, and with hatred in his eyes, grabbed our damsel and threw her to the floor...........................

and began to fumble under his robe and began extracting his....................

 

 

 

 

 

........... mobile phone from an inside pocket.

 

 

 

 

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Guest pelmetman
malc d - 2012-02-20 5:11 PM

 

peter - 2012-02-20 4:41 PM

 

donna miller - 2012-02-20 3:29 PM

 

laimeduck - 2012-02-20 9:47 AM

 

Then there was a great thunderclap & a brilliant flash of light… & when the smoke cleared, in front of her appeared a white horse rearing on its hind legs, the rider, with white locks flowing in the wind, in full control.

The rider shouted, “Never fear young lady … it’s….it’s….it’s… Kirbyman to the rescue!!

 

 

..................But unfortunately, Kirbyman took so long explaining what he was there to do, that FG strode past him, and with hatred in his eyes, grabbed our damsel and threw her to the floor...........................

and began to fumble under his robe and began extracting his....................

 

 

........... mobile phone from an inside pocket.

 

 

To call his "ordinary working class" chum...................To say........ do you fancy a Donna tonight?

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And I thought I was bad :$ God you lot are terrible ..And judge I dont like her anymore all her books ar ethe same and I got fed up reading that .

 

Anyway FG grabbed the Donna he looked it up and down he decided that Donna was very easy to spell check so he fed it into his Ipad just to double check. It came out as Kebab now the argument started poor Kirbyman. The walked as they talked but the figure in the background got closer , who could it be .

 

Come on you lot Donnas is the best so far .

:D :D :D

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Guest pelmetman
michele - 2012-02-20 5:42 PM

 

And I thought I was bad :$ God you lot are terrible ..And judge I dont like her anymore all her books ar ethe same and I got fed up reading that .

 

Anyway FG grabbed the Donna he looked it up and down he decided that Donna was very easy to spell check so he fed it into his Ipad just to double check. It came out as Kebab now the argument started poor Kirbyman. The walked as they talked but the figure in the background got closer , who could it be .

 

Come on you lot Donnas is the best so far .

:D :D :D

 

Who indeed?....................

 

That angry stare...............pert muscular carriage...............and mincing walk............

 

Its Pelmetman to the rescue.............dad dad DAaaaaaaaaaa!!!

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Dad she called but the she realised she was alone in the world.She didnt have a dad only Kirbyman (who's he ) Brian ?) :D FG (who's he ?).. she kept on running after all what girl of her age wanted to be grabbed hold of by a Mincing walker who dresses just like a queen :D
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michele - 2012-02-20 6:20 PM

 

Dad she called but the she realised she was alone in the world.She didnt have a dad only Kirbyman (who's he ) Brian ?) :D FG (who's he ?).. she kept on running after all what girl of her age wanted to be grabbed hold of by a Mincing walker who dresses just like a queen :D

 

Of course Donna new Pelmetman was not her Dad....................But why was Pelmetman mincing after them shouting Dad?...............................but Kirbyman new the truth 8-) .............he'd seen the test results :-S

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pelmetman - 2012-02-20 7:01 PM

 

Of course Donna new Pelmetman was not her Dad....................But why was Pelmetman mincing after them shouting Dad?...............................but Kirbyman new the truth 8-) .............he'd seen the test results :-S

 

Calgon really DOES protect your washing machine from limescale build up! :-> FG, as usual, was not impressed by this as all his washing was done by the 'lower masses', however, he was intrigued as to why Kirbyman thought this was important ...

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Guest pelmetman
laimeduck - 2012-02-20 11:05 PM

 

Kirbyman knew that its name was a portmanteau derived from the phrase "calcium gone", and he also knew that a lack of calcium was the reason why Pelmetman minced so could not be Donna’s dad, so who was the third man..... was it?....... No it couldn’t be ……….

 

Yes I'm afraid it really is true FG, I've seen the test results said Kirby man 8-)........................NEVER!! snarled FG............get a move on wench!! he shouted at the helpless Donna...........the mincing menace is getting closer >:-(................................DAD! DAD! DAAaaaaaaaaaD!!!!!!.................

 

 

 

Leave Mum alone 8-) 8-)

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Chapter two

 

Ivory Tower Mansions, Cheshire.

 

Sir Francis awoke terrified.... gasping for breath.... his body soaked in cold sweat....When his eyes started to refocus he recognised his palatial bedroom and began to relax.................It was just a terrible nightmare.............he breathed a huge sigh of relief and relaxed back into his silk sheets .

 

There was a knock at the door "Come" he snarled.........In limped his faithful retainer Arkroyed Pothelwaite with his masters breakfast............a boiled egg in a silver egg cup engraved with the family motto "Loadsamoney".......accompanied by toasted soldiers with the crusts removed apart from the top...........no one dare touch the uppercrust except Sir Francis ;-)

 

As Sir Francis broke his fast he leafed idly through his post.............a few begging letters....the usual invitations...........suddenly his eye's recognised the misspelt handwriting he gasped 8-)............with trembling fingers he ripped open the letter...................attached to the letter a DNA report 8-) 8-)

 

"Pothelwaite Pothelwaite! where are you???..you dam fool"...he shouted............limping to his masters bed.........tugging his forelock........."Yis Yis master I is ere"....... "hitch up my Hobby immediately!...I'm going to my club"..................

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Talking of Pouffes :D

 

In deepest darkest Lincolnshire....... Pelmetman in an attempt to fit in with the locals is learning Polish, when "Troy the wonder dog" who is lying in wait......barking madly launches himself at the front door..................."Ah that'l be postwan Polski" said Pelmetman with a lisp.........

 

Troy the wonder dog brought the half chewed blood stained letter to Pelmetman, and then retired to his basket with that doggy delicacy postman finger >:-)

 

The letter puzzled Pelmetman it was so badly chewed and stained in blood he could not make head nor tail of it........... strangely the misspelt missive made the hairs on his neck stand up..........as it stirred distant memories...........but the London address was still legible.

 

"Fire up the Twavelhome Twoy"..................."We're oft to Wondon".............................

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