omidknight Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 If this has been posted before - sorry How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coa**e bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of baththe whole time.. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Thank you for this "pulliptears" post on MSE How many ladies are now frantically nodding in agreement!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 The oldies are the best :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
york brewery Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 If i shook my willy and went whoo whoo to my other half i would get kicked in the nuts. :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 You're gonna regret saying that ... everyone who sees you serving at one of the outdoor shows now is going to come over to you and do the 'sign' greeting ... hopefully just 'imaginary' though and not 'in the flesh'!!! :$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
york brewery Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 ROFL@MEL B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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