Guest JudgeMental Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER........... 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed˜freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil 10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café 12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs 1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit 3:00 Nap 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer 4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk˜says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe 7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers 10:00 Hot shower- alone 10:50 Carried to bed? freshly ironed, crisp, white linen 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM....... 6:00 Alarm 6:15 Blow job 6:30 Massive, satisfying s**t while reading the sports section 7:00 Breakfast˜steak and eggs, coffee and toast˜all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot 7:30 Limo arrives 7:45 Several beers en route to the airport 9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route) 9:45 Play front nine (2 under par) 11:45 Lunch˜steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon 12:15 Blow job 12:30 Play back nine (4 under) 2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons) 2:30 Fly to Bahamas 3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)˜on light tackle 5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally) 6:45 s**t, shower and shave 7:00 Watch news˜Michael Jackson assassinated 7:30 Dinner˜lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game 9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer 11:30 Night-cap blow job 11:45 In bed alone 11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 JudgeMental - 2008-06-05 1:49 PM THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM....... 6:00 Alarm 6:15 Blow job 6:30 Massive, satisfying s**t while reading the sports section 7:00 Breakfast˜steak and eggs, coffee and toast˜all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot 7:30 Limo arrives 7:45 Several beers en route to the airport 9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route) 9:45 Play front nine (2 under par) 11:45 Lunch˜steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon 12:15 Blow job 12:30 Play back nine (4 under) 2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons) 2:30 Fly to Bahamas 3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)˜on light tackle 5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally) 6:45 s**t, shower and shave 7:00 Watch news˜Michael Jackson assassinated 7:30 Dinner˜lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game 9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer 11:30 Night-cap blow job 11:45 In bed alone 11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep 6.10am Wake back up and realise you hit the snooze button at 6.00 :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Oh dear,Judge. I sssssooooooooo wish I was gay!!!! and so can't understand why I'm not when I realise how true that post was... ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 ROON - 2008-06-05 1:53 PM Oh dear,Judge. I sssssooooooooo wish I was gay!!!! Blimey......... why don't you practice a little with some friends, and PM me the pictures. Better still invite me around *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I'd go to that party............................ As an observer obviously. 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I've always wondered what the fascination is with two women, Judge? Can't imagine it being quite as entertaining watching two blokes - there isn't an emoticon for Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 How to spoil your womans perfect 9.15 am moment............. Here comes the Judge ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 J9withdogs - 2008-06-05 2:16 PM I've always wondered what the fascination is with two women, Judge? Not one for blowing my own trumpet (and believe me I have tried *-) ) But being somewhat an exspurt in the art of love, I have on a few occasions been involved in a "Ménage à trois" with a couple of lady things...... And believe you me, very satisfactory it was to :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 For who???? :-D We are too polite to complain sometimes you know, Judge. B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Oh My GAWDddddddddddddd .you lot are in deep doo do :D are you trying to upset the prudes ? I have been repoted and admonished for less than this far less :D :D :D :D :D Still I ROTF whilst I can hopefully others have a sense of humour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Well.......there is an explicit warning in the heading 8-) but they can never resist can they! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Newell Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Personally I'm not offended by it but some of the language might be offensive to some people. A fact that you yourself have acknowledged in the title. It begs the question that if you suspect it might offend someone, which you obviously were aware of, why carry on and post it anyway? :-S . D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Phew... the Mod's been and gone, so we must have got away with it this time :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Dave Newell - 2008-06-05 4:16 PM Personally I'm not offended by it but some of the language might be offensive to some people. A fact that you yourself have acknowledged in the title. It begs the question that if you suspect it might offend someone, which you obviously were aware of, why carry on and post it anyway? :-S . D. to try and make us laugh dave, have you lost your sense of humour old chap (?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hymer C 9. Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 JudgeMental - 2008-06-05 1:49 PM THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER........... 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed˜freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil 10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café 12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs 1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit 3:00 Nap 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer 4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk˜says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe 7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers 10:00 Hot shower- alone 10:50 Carried to bed? freshly ironed, crisp, white linen 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms Hey Judge who told you how I spend my days. :$ Carol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 IN YOUR DREAMS, CAROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hymer C 9. Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Now lets see. Wake up about 8am have a cup of tea. Think about going for a walk or to the gym (usually change my mind) Reliase I have put 2 lbs on instead of taking it off. Do some shopping. Sit in conservitory Have lunch ( which I get ready) Yes Janine :D you right must have been dreaming' But do a lot of things much more fun which would give Juges list a run for its money (all that blowng around he likes must wear him out). *-) Carol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Now, I know I run the risk of being banned from this esteemed forum, but there is something I've never really understood, and perhaps some of the experts on here can give me some advice........(PM if necessary) no, I chickened out.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Sorry Janine but I don't know which came first - the chicken or the egg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 8-) 8-) 8-) :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenewellhome Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 K&D - 2008-06-05 6:53 PM Dave Newell - 2008-06-05 4:16 PM Personally I'm not offended by it but some of the language might be offensive to some people. A fact that you yourself have acknowledged in the title. It begs the question that if you suspect it might offend someone, which you obviously were aware of, why carry on and post it anyway? :-S . D. to try and make us laugh dave, have you lost your sense of humour old chap (?) Not at all Deano, I did say I was not personally offended by it. My point was (and still is) that if you suspect that some people will be offended by you saying something (or as in this case posting it on an open forum) then to my mind you need a better reason than just making a few people laugh to go ahead and do it. D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 The problem is that so much of the "men's" bit is true! Especially the bit about the 'toilet' visits and the long fart ... now be honest Dave, how many times have you blamed poor Dexter for the pong????? Plus ... it made me laugh and at the moment I need that!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Dave, hate to think you wont be able to sleep deliberating as to why I decided to post this as you have repeated your concerns 3 times now..... I accessed the risk (as that is what I do for a living *-)) and on the balance of probability's decided that it was entertaining enough to share, and the fun factor outweighed the sensibilities of a minority of prudes. The heading was enough warning in my opinion. But the Mary Whitehouse brigade find offence in the strangest of places do they not.......while the real iniquities of life pass them by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Mel B - 2008-06-05 10:24 PM The problem is that so much of the "men's" bit is true! Especially the bit about the 'toilet' visits and the long fart ... now be honest Dave, how many times have you blamed poor Dexter for the pong????? Plus ... it made me laugh and at the moment I need that!!!!B*llocks!. Sorry to disillusion you Mel, but it's not in the least bit true. I have no idea what kind of men you've knocked about with. You obviously don't go to the right places. Whether you like men or not, please don't assume that we are all ignorant morons with no idea how to conduct ourselves decently. Rant over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 peter - 2008-06-05 10:50 PM Mel B - 2008-06-05 10:24 PM The problem is that so much of the "men's" bit is true! Especially the bit about the 'toilet' visits and the long fart ... now be honest Dave, how many times have you blamed poor Dexter for the pong????? Plus ... it made me laugh and at the moment I need that!!!!B*llocks!. Sorry to disillusion you Mel, but it's not in the least bit true. I have no idea what kind of men you've knocked about with. You obviously don't go to the right places. Whether you like men or not, please don't assume that we are all ignorant morons with no idea how to conduct ourselves decently. Rant over. Obviously you are reading it in another way to me Peter therefore all I can assume is that some of the things mentioned have completely different meanings to what I'm thinking! 8-) Or are you jealous? (lol) :D ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.