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How do you define love?

 

I don't mean the sexual urges and lust that is commonly disguised and misinterpreted as love.

 

There is the 'love' in a relationship and togetherness that builds up over years of being together - which is often taken for granted until it is lost - at which point you realise how good it was.

 

Then there is the 'love' that good folk like Tony Jones so passionately feels for his fellow human beings regardless of their race and religious views.

 

Then there is the 'love' that we feel for our own kids and family regardless of how they treat us.

 

Then there is the 'love' that we feel for our pets that only really manifests when they die.

 

There are no doubt many other examples.

 

So just what is the common factor present in all of these types of 'love'?

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The ancient Greeks dealt with the problem of the different meanings of "love" - or rather, it never WAS a problem for them because they had (I think) FOUR completely different words for the different types. Can't remember them all, but I'll mug up on it if anyone wants to know.

 

So it's the English language that's the problem, translating all the lot as "love." I suppose it's worse in French, since as far as I can tell they seem to be stuck with "aimer" for everything from just plain "liking" to the self-sacrificing, lay-down-life-stuff (not to mention passionate sexual infatuation). Or maybe there are French words I haven't heard yet???

 

Tony

 

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Cheers Jackie, I'd forgotten that one! But where do you think "adorer" fits in among Richard's definitions and descriptions?

Again, it has multiple meanings - food & drink, works of art/performances, and of course romantic partners.

I suspect we'd only use if for our kids when they're VERY small!

 

I ought to correct Richard though - I certainly don't "passionately feel" love for all my fellow human beings (think about some of them for a moment!). Love for "everyone" takes work, and the most I'd say is that I'm "working towards" it. Does that make me sound like a County Council?

Seriously though, that kind of love isn't so much an emotion as a decision - deciding to seek the best for the other person, regardless of our feelings at the moment.

 

The funny thing is, when we take that approach in a long-term relationship (eg marriage), it usually brings the "romantic" stuff along behind it. This is the opposite way round to how most people approach relationships. The common idea is "I don't love you anymore, so we'll have to separate," or "I love someone else, so I'm leaving you" - as if "love" is some independent magical thing which "just happens" to us!

 

Just this once, can I quote the Bible on here? (If you don't want to read this, look away now like the football results):

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

 

And incidentally, the "love" referred to there is the one we're supposed to aim at for everyone - WOW!

 

Love

Tony

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How do you define Love?

For me, it’s a bit of a catch-all description of a range of human emotions. As such, it can’t be tightly defined. I love Big Macs is perhaps not really on the same par as I love my wife – or it shouldn’t be!

There is always a word that more accurately describes the exact emotion you are feeling. The challenge is to find it.

Sadly, the only time many people think about what it means to them is after the passing of a relationship. And often, in those circumstances, the more appropriate word is remorse.

 

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That surely depends on how the relationship ends Steve as remorse is only one of a number of emotions, of which any one or more could apply?

 

Grief, relief, joy, anger, regret, hate, jealousy, fear, resentment and probably a few more too all play their part.

 

However they only describe the ending of love not the common factor present in many aspects of enduring love?

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howie - 2007-10-18 6:59 PM

 

What about narcissism. If you can,t love yourself you,ll never love anyone else.

 

I don't know about love myself Howie - that seems a bit extreme?

 

However, I am very happy with who I am, with where in life's trail I am right now, and with the honest way that I have conducted and continue to conduct my personal and monetary lives.

I don't know how else to describe that other than maybe contentment - but certainly not love?

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Tracker - 2007-10-18 7:04 PM

 

howie - 2007-10-18 6:59 PM

 

What about narcissism. If you can,t love yourself you,ll never love anyone else.

 

I don't know about love myself Howie - that seems a bit extreme?

 

However, I am very happy with who I am, with where in life's trail I am right now, and with the honest way that I have conducted and continue to conduct my personal and monetary lives.

I don't know how else to describe that other than maybe contentment - but certainly not love?

Never mind the definition of love Richard, you,ve just defined narcissism to a tee. :->
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Interesting thought Howie.

 

My dictionary says 'contented' means 'satisfied with' whereas it also defines 'narcissism' as 'morbid self love or admiration'.

 

I subscribe to the former but not to the latter!

 

Perhaps I should add that I do know only too well that I do have faults, you can clearly see the fault lines on my face, and I know too that I am far from perfect, as some will now no doubt take some delight in confirming for me - but narcissistic - I don't think so?

 

 

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howie - 2007-10-18 7:24 PM

 

Perhaps I was wrong Richard. Sounds as if you are merely infatuated with yourself and I agree that "narcissism" was a bit over the top . My apologies for any offence. :-(

 

No offence taken Howie, but thanks for the sentiment.

 

Both narcissism and infatuation suggest that any individuals suffering from these emotions are unable to see their own flaws, weaknesses and limitations.

 

I maintain that most of us differ in that, whilst being happy and content with our lot, we are not complacent enough to think that nothing can be improved.

 

True love is not blind but it accepts the limitations and flaws that come with the emotion felt for the loved one.

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carioca - 2007-10-19 6:32 PM

 

Tomo3090 - 2007-10-19 5:54 PM

 

"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

 

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

used to do that most friday & saturday nights as i remember :$ :$

Aiden thats lust and youth :D

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michele - 2007-10-19 6:35 PM

 

carioca - 2007-10-19 6:32 PM

 

Tomo3090 - 2007-10-19 5:54 PM

 

"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

 

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

used to do that most friday & saturday nights as i remember :$ :$

Aiden thats lust and youth :D

are you sure i thought it was newcastle brown ale & jack daniels but hey it was all a blur you may be right :-D :-D

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