avongas Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9, ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 good one B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Only problem was, I pressed 9 and I pressed 9 and I pressed 9 and this big hunk of a fireman appeared on my doorstep. ..... can't remember what I did wrong ... so here I go again ... I press 9 and I press ... >:-) ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 send any spares on to your friends ;-) if you can remember B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick H. Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Excellent. Sums it all up really. Mick H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 ROON - 2008-06-20 1:03 PM Only problem was, I pressed 9 and I pressed 9 and I pressed 9 and this big hunk of a fireman appeared on my doorstep. ..... can't remember what I did wrong ... so here I go again ... I press 9 and I press ... >:-) ;-) Ooh fireman...ooh fireman...ooh :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenewellhome Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I know several firemen and they're all either 21 lean and fit with attitude or 40+ with a big beer belly :-S D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omidknight Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Which are you then Dave? Amy mentioned: Press 13 if you are superstitious - and then noone will help you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Dave, when you get to my age, 40+ with a big beer belly is still a toyboy .... :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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