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One for Friday
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usermichele
Posted: 1 December 2006 12:54 PM
Subject: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size



>A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
>
>1 litre of milk,
>1 carton of eggs,
>1 litre of orange juice,
>1 head of lettuce,
>1 can of coffee,
>1 pack of bacon.
>
>As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
>drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
>the cashier.
>
>While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
>stated, " You must be single."
>
>The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
>intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
>
>She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
>unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
>her marital status.
>
>Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
>
>"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did
>you know that?"
>
>The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."
bout this please visit www.cctmark.gov.uk
usermichele
Posted: 1 December 2006 12:58 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



We all know those little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.


Sometimes these are represented by



Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:


(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laughing their ass off (_













































Edited by michele 2006-12-01 12:59 PM
usermichele
Posted: 1 December 2006 1:34 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size






THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature,
here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


usermichele
Posted: 1 December 2006 1:44 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size


http://www.eyegas.com/xmas05/

Try this one for xmas
usercolin
Posted: 1 December 2006 7:23 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


Legendary contributor

Posts: 8175
500020001000100252525
Location: Bedfordshire, Globecar 636SB


(_E=mc2_)
userForester
Posted: 2 December 2006 8:11 AM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


500100252525


love it
userflicka
Posted: 2 December 2006 11:15 AM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


Forum master

Posts: 4225
2000200010010025
Location: NE Lincolnshire - M/H - 2012 Adria Sport S572SL


Brilliant

Possibly (_#_) a classic chassis ?
usermichele
Posted: 4 December 2006 2:25 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size





Subject: FW:First Christmas Joke of 2006

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by St. Peter at the pearly
gates.


"In honour of this holy season," St. Peter said, "you must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on.
"It represents a candle," he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates St. Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

He shook them and said, "They're bells".
St. Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do
those symbolize?"





The man replied, "They're Carols."








usercarolh
Posted: 4 December 2006 3:01 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


Pillar of the forums

Posts: 608
500100
Location: Grantham - rapido 741f - 2.8tdi fiat ducato - 02


michele - 2006-12-04 2:25 PM




Subject: FW:First Christmas Joke of 2006

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by St. Peter at the pearly
gates.


"In honour of this holy season," St. Peter said, "you must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on.
"It represents a candle," he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates St. Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

He shook them and said, "They're bells".
St. Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do
those symbolize?"





The man replied, "They're Carols."








thought there was a draught
Carol
lol

usermichele
Posted: 5 December 2006 6:48 PM
Subject: RE: One for Friday
 


50005000500100100100100
Location: Rapido ..ask him what size


Carol,
I knew it but didn't like to upset Charles haha.
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