Victor Meldrew Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I’ve recently developed an interest in writing poetry, my first attempt I have given the working title of ‘Stop’, I have completed the first three verses but have come up against what we writers call ‘writers block’, so I’m offering it up for constructive criticism as I know some of you are particularly good at that and maybe you could give some ideas for the next verse. Stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop Stop stop, stop stop stop Stop stop stop, stop stop TC 28th August 2008 I’ve already had an idea for my second poem that I’ve given the working title of ‘Go’ but I don’t want to get to far into it until I’ve completed ‘Stop’. I don’t see the point in getting into a stop, go type situation. Thanks in advance for your input Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 That really is excellent, Cant wait for the "Go"Poem. Please, Please, Please, Go. (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malc d Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Beautiful ! It brings back so many memories of touring around the U.K. Thanks :-| :-| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Reminds me of the bloke in Vicar of Dibley.. No No No No (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Reminds of a girlfriend from years ago. Did'nt last long. Well at least it rhymes Vic, but 'stop' is such a negative word and may I suggest that your next attempt uses a word with far more imagination and positive outlook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGD Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 It's so touching. As a creative juxtaposition, you could then invert the whole thing and re-name it "pots" perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Opts sounds more creative Bruce. Pots lacks style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkmoy Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I'd go for 'tops' myself. It would be self descriptive then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Hmm, 15 dollops of S, 15 of T, 15 of O & 15 of P, I think your newly acquired interest would benefit from a little creativity, however a good start and keep up the good work. Jeffrey Archer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 victor, for those of us with boring lives who need a little excitement of sorts, could you perhaps now write one entitled Don't stop 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 What about a poem based on the theme of More, More, More I like expansive type words, so much more exciting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victor Meldrew Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 ROON - 2008-08-29 1:24 PM victor, for those of us with boring lives who need a little excitement of sorts, could you perhaps now write one entitled Don't stop 8-) Don’t Stop Don’t stop posting here It doesn’t matter if you’re boring my dear Don’t stop waffling away Just type your twaddle every day Don’t stop posting here Although not many read you, I fear Don’t stop waffling away To you it’s vital you have your say Don’t stop your incessant writing Don’t look up, just keep typing Don’t stop logging on to out and about live Even if compared to other forums, it’s a bit of a dive Don’t stop your incessant writing But sitting in that chair all day, won’t help the dieting Don’t stop logging on to out and about live Your daily post average, has now reached one hundred and five TC 1st September 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Ode to Grumpy Old Men They sneak into our lives Persuade us to become their wives They then want to change us Into their mothers As the years pass by Our children arrive then fly We are left all alone With a grumpy old man Nothing is as before They scratch their bums and snore Leave their dirty socks For us to pick up "The world is going mad The youth of today is just bad There's nothing on the TV Worth watching now" "And the price of fuel! Government takes me for a fool Pensions are a farce Beer tastes like....." Now don't get me started About when he's farted And friends leave the room Never to return The tone gets much lower When he's in the shower Hawking & spitting And trying to sing If any of this is true And is a reality to you I really sympathise Just glad I'm single! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malc d Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Lower and shower don't rhyme. Grump grump :-( :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 ROON - 2008-08-29 1:24 PM victor, for those of us with boring lives who need a little excitement of sorts, could you perhaps now write one entitled Don't stop 8-) roon you are looking good. the one of you with the pole isnt bad either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Thank you K&D. Now I'm even MORE pleased to see you back again! :-D Victor, thank you for your ode, as requested. Could you now write one entitled ..... 'Undercover' (?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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