Guest peter Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and you'll see why! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks heard this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney . The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with(phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same =three questions correctly, they both win the prize. The Harbour City dropped to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' Contestant: 'Brian.' DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' Brian: 'Sara.' DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?' Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this =morning? Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...' DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks..' DJ: 'Uh huh...' Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.' [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ] DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch tones....ringing....) Clerk: 'Kinkos.' DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?' Clerk: 'This is she.' DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to Give any..answers away or you'll lose.Sooooooo... Do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' Sarah: 'No.' DJ: 'Good!' Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest..' DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.' DJ: 'What time?' Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?' Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?' Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'Where did you have it?' Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?' Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Well...' DJ: Come on Sarah....where did you have it? Sarah: 'Up the a**e.....' They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apparently there was an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this conversation , for minor traffic collisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handyman Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 I'm sure i have read this on 14 other forums :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Dats what I hate about this forum........DID THEY WIN THE TRIP! :-| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Hilarious, but yes, did they win the trip? :D :D :D Martyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 handyman - 2009-07-04 10:34 PM I'm sure i have read this on 14 other forums :-S Because I have a life, Handyman, and don't spend all of my time reading 15 forums I haven't seen it before. Funny :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handyman Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 its called sarcasm.........mainly pointed at people that cut and paste entire posts, I dont like that......here is hoping that I'm allowed to have an opinion on here (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 handyman - 2009-07-05 11:31 AM its called sarcasm.........mainly pointed at people that cut and paste entire posts, I dont like that......here is hoping that I'm allowed to have an opinion on here (lol) Are you saying that everything on here has to be totally original? No sharing of funnies that we think might appeal to our friends? How boring! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corky 8 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 First time Ive seen it ,thought it was very funny , Thanks Brian, and I,m about to cut and paste it to my brothers who dont frequent the forum and I,m even going to send it to my Mate in Aussie, think he may have heard it though, Handyman Mate your quite welcome to your opinions on this Liberal forum thats why its so good. :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordThornber Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Have I missed something, who's Brian? Martyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Brian's the husband of the poor woman :$ :$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 LordThornber - 2009-07-05 3:33 PM Have I missed something, who's Brian? Martyn Brian must be Peter's alter ego - maybe as in 'The Life of Brian'? Always look on the bright side of life - and all that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corky 8 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Apologies to you Peter, I had one of them age related name thingies , I was actually thinking of sending it to the Mate named Brian, thats what it was transposed, yer ,thats it,an I,m sticking to that excuse. :$ :$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 handyman - 2009-07-05 11:31 AM its called sarcasm.........mainly pointed at people that cut and paste entire posts, I dont like that......here is hoping that I'm allowed to have an opinion on here (lol) Yes of course you are entitled to your own opinion Craig but do please try to combine it with a bit more tolerance and do please make sure that your own opinion does not deviate too much from anyone else's own opinion! I look forward with great anticipation to much more originality from you Craig! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Sorry everyone! This one's been doing the rounds for at least 11 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Why be sorry? No need! No point? Anybody who makes a posting on here to inform entertain and/or educate should be well received no matter the source or the age of the material. I have seen people post jokes that have already been posted once or even twice before but they mean well so why spoil their (or my!) moment of fun for the sake of being petty? If a thread annoys, irritates or offends you - don't keep looking at it! Simples - as my furry friend would say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 handyman - 2009-07-04 10:34 PM I'm sure i have read this on 14 other forums :-SSo what! did I claim it to be my own work?. But I won't post anything that I didn't compose myself in future Handyman, in case it ofends you. >:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Momma Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I have not seen this before and found it very amusing, thank you for posting it :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Tracker - 2009-07-07 9:14 PMWhy be sorry? No need! No point?Anybody who makes a posting on here to inform entertain and/or educate should be well received no matter the source or the age of the material.I have seen people post jokes that have already been posted once or even twice before but they mean well so why spoil their (or my!) moment of fun for the sake of being petty?If a thread annoys, irritates or offends you - don't keep looking at it!Simples - as my furry friend would say! Tracker... mine was a simple comment, made with a gentle smile and certainly never meant to invoke a negative reaction. I'm Australian, and the joke's age old over there, that's all I was getting at. It's still a funny joke, even with it's age. Keep them coming! I'm certainly not annoyed, irritated or offended by this thread, as you suggest? What a strange comment! You've knocked me for six, there! Chill out! You'll live a longer, happier life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 I don't know why you should feel knocked for a six MOM? It was you that had apologised for a posting that you did not make - which I found very hard to understand! I'm sorry if my reply upset you with any luck as an Australian you might well be a lot more upset by the weekend if your lot really do get knocked for a six! Well we can always dream! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Tracker - 2009-07-08 10:35 AMI don't know why you should feel knocked for a six MOM?It was you that had apologised for a posting that you did not make - which I found very hard to understand!I'm sorry if my reply upset you with any luck as an Australian you might well be a lot more upset by the weekend if your lot really do get knocked for a six!Well we can always dream!Ouch on the crigget! (Well done ;-) ) I'm a Brit now, too, and I never know who to go for in these test matches! Still, I guess I can't lose?!!!I'm certainly not offended by your comments, not at all. I think there's been a slight confusion in terms... when I said "Sorry, guys", I meant figuratively "Sorry to have to tell you, guys", almost with a wink and a nudge. Here's a topical Aussie joke to keep the smiles alive... Billy was at school this morning in the outback and the teacher asked all the children what there fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry etc,but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father is an exotic dancer in a g4y club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him." The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too embarrassed to say." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Gee whiz MOM if an Australian kid was embarrassed about his dad playing cricket - just think how an English kid would feel! Is this another Australian joke? At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Sydney and Melbourne, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!' More sighs and loud applause. Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.' There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?' Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Screw him'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapido-lass Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Well I must say I hadn't heard the joke before and laughed when I read it - thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightrider Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 peter - 2009-07-07 10:09 PM handyman - 2009-07-04 10:34 PM I'm sure i have read this on 14 other forums :-SSo what! did I claim it to be my own work?. But I won't post anything that I didn't compose myself in future Handyman, in case it ofends you. >:-) Peter, Why be bothered if handyman is offended? if he doesn't like anything posted on here he can always cut loose can't he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 knight of the road - 2009-07-08 5:05 PM Why be bothered if handyman is offended? if he doesn't like anything posted on here he can always cut loose can't he? That's an easy one to answer Malcolm. Peter is a kind and gentle soul who just hates to offend anyone or cause any upset however minor - unless he's having another go at me that is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightrider Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Tracker - 2009-07-08 5:52 PM knight of the road - 2009-07-08 5:05 PM Why be bothered if handyman is offended? if he doesn't like anything posted on here he can always cut loose can't he? That's an easy one to answer Malcolm. Peter is a kind and gentle soul who just hates to offend anyone or cause any upset however minor - unless he's having another go at me that is! Or me, at first I took one or two of his comments aimed at me personally, then I read between the lines and realised that he was winding me up and I fell for it hook line and sinker, just a case of tit for tat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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