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The ten funniest expenses claims


CliveH

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One to get your weekend off to a good start! (lol)

 

 

Fri Jun 19 12:08PM By Alex Stevenson - Yahoo News.

 

The pick of the most audacious, the most brazen, the most absurd expenses claims unearthed in the recent scandal.

 

A quick note about the selection process.

 

It's actually quite difficult to choose which expenses claims are so shockingly appalling that they deserve inclusion in this brief list.

 

Why? There's a simple reason. The expenses claims are like a lucky dip. Wander around the corridors of the House of Commons and you'll be bumping into an MP with questionable expenses claims in just a few seconds.

 

The truth is the old culture of claiming for just about anything and everything was universally accepted.

 

Only tenuous links with parliamentary work were needed. Like most MPs, those listed below are hard-working, committed figures determined to make their contribution to public life.

 

Don't let that undermine the unacceptable nature of what they were doing.

 

When assessing these expense claims, always bear in mind the Green Book - the rules to which so many MPs have insisted they stuck rigidly.

 

"Members should avoid purchases which could be seen as extravagant or luxurious," it says, adding that "claims must only be made for expenditure that it was necessary for a member to incur to ensure that he or she could properly perform his or her parliamentary duties".

 

Dawn Butler

The Labour government whip, who goes head to head against Sarah Teather in Brent at the next general election, claimed for a jacuzzi-style bath to be fitted in her second home in north London.

 

Jacqui Smith

The former home secretary claimed for a bath plug costing 88p. It was one of the more innocuous of the claims that got her into trouble: pornographic films sat uneasily alongside a kitchen sink purchase, which cost £550.

 

Shaun Woodward

The wealthiest MP in the Commons nevertheless thought it was appropriate to claim for a Crunch Corner yoghurt costing 38p.

 

Fabian Hamilton

Among the Leeds North East MP's £171,824 total expenses claim was a claim for an iPod Nano in his communications allowance.

 

David Cameron

David who? His leadership of the Conservative party hit a low ebb before the 2007 party conference, but he reasserted his authority with an impressive off-the-cuff leader's speech. He certainly prioritises working hard on the art of oratory: £10.99 was charged on expenses for the purchase of a Penguin book on historic speeches.

 

Jeremy Hunt

Shadow media secretary Jeremy Hunt was responding to the Digital Britain report on Tuesday, in which he reacted angrily to the government's determination to impose a levy on telecoms charges. Mr Hunt knows a thing or two about the cost of using mobile phones: he claimed for a 12-second phone call costing just 1p.

 

Julia Goldsworthy

Over to the Liberal Democrats, and Julia Goldsworthy - one of the Commons' youngest members. Her claims included a designer pink rocking chair costing £912, which was later repaid, £291 for a matching pink footstool and £89 - for a dustbin.

 

Lembit Opik

Sometimes you just have to purchase hil-a-rious wigs as the best way of using taxpayers' money. Opik purchased two pieces of headwear - The Mother of All Wigs, costing £19.99, and a Filmstar wig costing £9.99 - to wear at a charitable event.

 

Alex Salmond

The Scottish first minister was an MP when he and others racked up £14,100 in legal costs in an attempt to impeach Tony Blair. Astonishingly, the funds were charged to the law firm in which Mr Blair's wife Cherie is a partner. Mr Salmond has defended the claim.

 

George Osborne

The shadow chancellor, we hope, is good with money, and made sure this was the case by taking advice from himself. The purchase of two DVDs of his comments to the Commons on getting value for taxpayers' money was, in its own way, perhaps the most absurd claim of all.

 

If you think you can find anything better, let us know.

 

..............

 

If anyone wants to the link is:-

 

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/talking_politics/article/39113/

 

:-S

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Guest Tracker

An MP's Poem.

 

 

I want a floating duck house

I want to clear my moat

I need to mend my tennis court

But I still need your vote.

 

I have to build a portico

My swimming pool needs mending

My lovely plants need horse manure

And the Aga needs much tending

 

A chandelier is vital

Mock Tudor boards are great

My hanging baskets won awards

And I’ve earned a tax rebate.

 

I need a glitter toilet seat.

And my piano so needs tuning

Maltesers help me stay awake

And my orchard must need pruning

 

I could have said the rules were wrong

And often thought I should,

But somehow it was easier

To profit all I could

 

The public really have to see

That the rules are there to test

And by defrauding taxpayers

We were only doing our best

 

The Speaker of the House has gone,

Our sacrificial beast,

But the public are still braying

For our corpses at the feast

 

What do the public want from us,

Those vote-wielding ingrates?

They really should be grateful

To be financing our estates.

 

The message is so very clear,

(we’re merely learning late)

That an MPs way of living well

Is to screw the bloody state

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Brilliant, quite brilliant, Tracker and I agree politically, what is the world coming too?

 

 

 

"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.”

Dudley Field Malone

 

 

 

 

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I wish that I could take credit for the poem but alas I can't as it came to me via a friend - who also can't take any credit - other than for passing it on!
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Tracker - 2009-06-21 2:23 PM

 

I wish that I could take credit for the poem but alas I can't as it came to me via a friend - who also can't take any credit - other than for passing it on!

 

Tracker, your friend is he a MP? and only takes cash and not credit.

:D

 

Dave

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