avongas Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." 9. If they say they're John Smith from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" 6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you are just about to file for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips. 4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" 2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" And first and foremost: 1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randonneur Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I hate to tell you this but we have been in France for 7 years and the past year has seen us receiving calls from telesales people. If we act numb and say "parlez vous Anglais" the answer usually is Non!! so we put the receiver down but occasionally they call our bluff and say "Oui" then we have to think of another excuse. So its not only UK that is getting pestered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 My favourite is to ask them to hold on whilst I fetch my husband, then just put it on speakerphone and leave the phone next to the telly. We had one sad telesales bloke hanging on for nearly 20 mins before he finally hung up. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I had one for windows ..The guy said would you like new windows . I replied oh yes I would he kept on chatting a load of s**te and I said oh ah sounds lovely. He talked me through this long legal document they have to read to you . When he got to the end I said oh lovely ok should I tell you how many windows ? yes he said i told him then I said do you think the council do this often ? he said whats that I said pay for people windows ? Only i reckons its really nice of them just to let us do it and them pick up the tab . he said but madam I said call me anything but Madam . Now he didnt know what to say ...I said ok carry on he said but Mrs ...B you never said you were council ...I said you never asked .. Another time I leave the phone and say hang on someones at the door and other times I say she's not in sometimes I say just plain what you selling .. I have been known to say you phone this house again and I will report this as a malicious phone call :D now sod off I have even given the phone to Rose before now thats a laugh !!i sit here chuckling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I like to ask every conceivable question about the product, then say ''Isn't it marvellous how you can fit double glazing and conservatories to 15th floor flats nowadays'' :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dethleff Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 When my daughter in law answers the phone to sales people, my son gives them a couple of minutes, then shouts "hurry up M............. i'm losing this erection. always works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 Depends if they're selling Viagra or not though, you could actually encourage them! :-D Best one I had was when I was at Mum's flat and answered the phone, they were selling double glazing ... it's a council owned house ... they persisted though as some people (apparently!) still put it in! 8-)8-)8-)8-) My best one was when I got a call for double glazing ... "We'll pay for the downstairs, you pay for upstairs" .... great!!!! :-> I had them going for ages before I told them I have a bungalow ... they didn't want to give me the downstairs for free then. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo3090 Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 We have the full hit of DG, but still used to get the calls. One day I arranged for their salesman to call, but on a day I was in work. I received a call on my mobile from the salesman if he had the right address because no one was in. I told him yes and asked him to look at the windows, then asked him if they looked all right, to which he agreed. I then told him if he could let his company know so that they wouldn't call anymore because they never listened to me! Since then not one double glazing salesperson has called. That was about 3 years ago. Cruel but effective >:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 It's a lousy job - but often the only one in the area that's available. It's boring - inflexible and closely monitored - heaven help them if they don't achieve their target calls - next time - try imagining how you'd feel if it was your daughter / son being subjected to this kind of response. It's not the people who're calling you that you should be aiming at - it's the companies - try bombarding their managing director instead B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I concur. No need to be rude or waste their time as like everyone else they are simply trying to earn a living. Always firm but polite, and make it quite clear that i,m not interested if thats the case. If they then persist I hang up and its done with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I must admit I agree that the best policy is just to politely say you don't want it and then hang up. I only had my 'fun' with the double glazing chap as this was the 4th call I'd had from someone from the company in as many days and after the 2nd call I'd already asked them to make sure I wasn't contacted again. If they can't be bothered to update their records and give my number to another person to ring me then they are wasting their own staff's time. Still think it was rotten not to let me have the free downstairs windows though ... :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 I need cheering up Melanie. How about sending me another one of those naughty little p.m.s ;-) . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Cancel that last request please. I,ve just noticed Twooks is logged on. 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 You likkle fart box always full of wind :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 cute piccy tho innit???? ps to Howie - I get here in the end :$ B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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