sperm test

[caretaker]

a 92 year old man was informed by his doctor that he had to provide a sperm sample, the doctor provided him with a jar.after 3 days the old man went back to the doctors and handed him the jar. the doctor looked at the jar and said to the old man its still empty. the old man told him when i got home

i tried with my right hand,

i tried with my left hand,

then my wife tried with her right hand,

then she tried her left hand.

after that she tried both hands.

but no luck.

 

 

 

 

 

we still couldnt get the bloody lid off.

 

[Guest starspirit]

The ultimate contraceptive device?

 

When you do eventually succeed, if the little bu##er can get out of the jar we can always call it Houdini.

[W3526602]

Hi,

 

That reminds me of the morning-after pill for men.

 

It doesn't stop the pregnancy......it changes the man's DNA.

 

602

[CliveH]

I remember queuing at the sperm bank (well I like to do my bit!) and I was surprised to find myself behind a woman in the queue.

 

After a while I taped her on the shoulder and pointed to the sign "Sperm bank donors - Queue here"

 

She just nodded back at me and indicated that she could not speak with her mouth full.

 

[Guest starspirit]

Well done Clive - there are not many men who will admit to being a wa##er and we are all proud of you for doing your bit.

 

The bit I prefer doing lives with me and I save a lot of carbon emissions avoiding unnecessary travel in the process - how's that for environmental friendliness?

 

If I can just work out how to use a heat exchanger to convert all that energy into electricity I can help save the planet too.

 

Now that's what I call doing your bit.