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A quiet day at work!


avongas

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Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

 

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

 

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

 

There's no future in time travel.

 

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

 

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

 

A good pun is its own reword.

 

Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor?

 

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

 

For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

:D

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