Some new funny bits

[Guest Tracker]

J9withdogs - 2008-10-30 5:20 PM

 

errrmmm - I looked at you once and you dumped me... :D

 

errrmmm - As I recall it, it was you who told me that you never wanted to see me again?

 

So I followed your wishes and you didn't see me again!

 

Shame really 'cos I really did like you at that time and I very much enjoyed your company.

 

C'est la vie!

 

 

[J9withdogs]

Click on link - it says it all!

[nightrider]

Mel B - 2008-10-17 6:22 PM

 

Just to cheer everyone up a bit, here a few new 'funnies' for you to have a chuckle over. :->

 

Subject: gordon brown school visit

 

Gordon Brown was visiting a primary school in North Yorkshire where he looked in on one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr. Brown if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

 

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy.'

 

No,' said Brown........' that would be an accident.

 

'A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy'

 

'I'm afraid not,' explained Mr. Brown ' that's what we would call great loss' The room went silent.

 

No other children volunteered. Gordon Brown searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If A plane carrying you and Mr. Darling was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

 

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Brown. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

 

'Well,' says little Johnny 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f***ing accident either!'

 

Very good, I enjoyed that one.

[J9withdogs]

In a very large hotel in Bankok the English speaking (US) guest in room 1305 calls room service. Here goes....

 

Room Service: Morny, rune sore-bees.

Hotel Guest: Oh sorry, I thought I dialled room service.

RS: Rye, rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?

HG: I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July then?

HG: What?

RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch ... .?

HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.

RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?

HG: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Okay. An Santos?

HG: What?

RS: Santos, July Santos?

HG: Ugh ... I don't know ... I don't think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?

HG: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo-one-toes means. I'm sorry.

RS: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan, toes? Ow bow eenglish mopping we bother?

HG: English muffin! I've got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

RS: We bother?

HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?

HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

RS: Copy?

HG: I feel terrible about this but ...

RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill.

HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy eenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

HG: Whatever you say.

RS: Okay. Tenjewberrymud.

HG: You're welcome.

[kelly58]

I found this yesterday its really funny I do not know the link but just go onto www.youtube.com and search Irish School Demolition little Becky is a natural comic..

[J9withdogs]

This may be an Urban Myth, but I don't care - it made me smile :D

 

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

 

Actual dialogue of a former Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

Went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the Screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

Type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

The power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it

licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to

the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

 

[Mel B]

"ALL PUNS INTENDED "

 

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

 

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

 

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and Says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does

This taste funny to you?"

 

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, It's Not Unusual."

 

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

 

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

 

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"

 

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... And pulled a mussel.

 

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

 

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.

"But why," they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

 

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's Good) ... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

 

21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Tracker]

Two batteries were arrested for being flat out in the street.

One was charged and the other was discharged.

[armstrongpiper]

A Spanish Fireman had two sons. He called them Jose and JoseB.

 

Neil B

[J9withdogs]

A dentally-challenged Spanish lady had just one tooth left. Her name was Juanita.

[J9withdogs]

BRITISH NEWSPAPERS

 

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'

(The Daily Telegraph)

 

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

 

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.

(The Times)

 

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

( Aberdeen Evening Express)

 

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled - 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, theyspelt out 'Heil Hitler.''

( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

 

[J9withdogs]

HEARD ON THE LONDON UNDERGROUND TUBE

 

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...

 

1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.'

 

2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.'

 

3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'

 

4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.'

 

5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that'.

 

6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.'

 

7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided.'

 

8) 'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'

 

9) 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'

 

10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.'

 

11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.'

 

12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?'

 

13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways!'

 

14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.'

 

 

[J9withdogs]

Obviously written by a man...

 

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2 Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40 If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

[J9withdogs]

To be is to do. (Socrates)

To do is to be. (Sartre)

Do be do be do. (Sinatra)

[nightrider]

J9withdogs - 2008-11-10 4:44 PM

 

To be is to do. (Socrates)

To do is to be. (Sartre)

Do be do be do. (Sinatra)[/quote

 

It would be a miserable life without quips like these.

[J9withdogs]

Elvis look alike Strong Man competition held today.

Pushing a COAL WAGON UP THE RAILWAY LINE.

 

SHOVE ME TENDER

[nightrider]

J9withdogs - 2008-11-10 5:01 PM

 

Elvis look alike Strong Man competition held today.

Pushing a COAL WAGON UP THE RAILWAY LINE.

 

SHOVE ME TENDER

 

Stop it please, I'm trying to have my tea.

[J9withdogs]

Sorry, just deleting some old emails and came across these gems...do you need a cloth to clean your computer screen? :D

[Guest Tracker]

If electricity comes from electrons where does morality come from?

 

If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?

 

If quizzes are quizzical what are tests?

[donna miller]

Shamelessly ripped from another forum.

 

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, it takes the prize...

 

 

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A, was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

 

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

 

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 112 Grand Avenue Headsborough, York where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

 

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

 

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

 

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

 

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squadies look the same to me. I can confirm however that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

 

8. Peter Williamson is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

 

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

 

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

 

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby. After all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one it was that made you fart.

__________________

 

[nightrider]

J9withdogs - 2008-11-08 11:39 AM

 

BRITISH NEWSPAPERS

 

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'

(The Daily Telegraph)

 

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

 

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.

(The Times)

 

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

( Aberdeen Evening Express)

 

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled - 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, theyspelt out 'Heil Hitler.''

( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

 

Mr Arthur Purdey ha ha that is the name of my father, reminds me of the time he was trying to find a gas leak with a lighted match, ended up looking like Kojac, sorry dad haha

[nightrider]

This is absolutely true, a mate of mine was a copper, he arrested these two dipsticks after they had broken into a house, down at the nick he was taking their statements and one of them wrote down that they needed transport to get the bent gear away, so I sent my mate to go and get my mams washouse pram for transport, my mate said he collapsed in tears at that one.

[Guest Tracker]

> 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

> He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

> 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out

> to be an optical Aleutian.

 

> 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

 

> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a

> weapon of maths disruption.

 

> 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

> 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

> 7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

> 8. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The council are looking

> into it.

 

> 9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

> 10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

> One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'

 

> 11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

> 12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

 

> 13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

> When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,

> 'No change yet.'

 

> 14. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned

> veteran.

 

> 15. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 

> 16. Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.

 

[Guest Tracker]

While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliment" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

 

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

 

'Welcome to eternity,' says St. Peter.

 

'Before you settle in, we're going to make you the once in an eternity offer that we offer ALL poiticians'

 

I would love to just invite you in but rules are rules and it's more than my job's worth to just let you in without first giving you the choice.

 

So what we will do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven and then you can choose where you want to spend your eternity.'

 

'Really, that's very kind, but I've already made up my mind and I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

 

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

 

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

 

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

 

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all the deceased friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

 

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

 

They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people they were meant to serve.

 

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

 

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & remarkably nice guy who has a good time with all the residents dancing and telling jokes.

 

They are having such a good time that time flies and before he realizes it, it is time to go.

 

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

 

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

 

'Now it's time to visit heaven.' Said St Peter.

 

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

 

They have quite a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

 

'Well, then, now that you've spent one day in hell and one day in heaven, it's time to choose your eternity.'

 

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers:

 

'Well, I'm amazed as I would never have said or even thought it before, I mean heaven is delightful, but I do think I would be better off in the hell that you showed me.'

 

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

 

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage with the terrible smell of decomposing waste.

 

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the rubbish and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

 

The devil comes over to him, smiles, and puts his arm around his shoulder to welcome his new guest.

 

'I don't understand,' stammers the MP tearfully, 'yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look so truly miserable.

 

What happened?'

 

The devil looked at him, smiles, and quietly says,-

 

 

'Yesterday we were campaigning,

 

 

Today you voted,

 

 

 

Welcome to reality!'

 

 

 

[J9withdogs]

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES

 

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.

 

2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.

 

3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

 

4. Then analyse the situation:

 

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.

k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

 

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.