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First Christmas Joke

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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.


'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'


The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.


'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.


The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'


Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.


The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.


St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'



The man replied, 'These are Carols.'


And So The Christmas Season



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There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes

Tickle Me Elmo toys.


The toy laughs when you tickle

it under the arms.


Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and

she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.


The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the

Personnel Manager's door.


The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the


new employee



He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole

line is backing up, putting the entire Christmas production line

behind schedule.


The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for

himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor.


When they get there the line is so backed up that there

are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're

really beginning to pile up.


At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains

of Tickle Me Elmo's.


She has a roll of plush

red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.


The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece

of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to

carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.


The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.

after several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself

together and approaches Lena .


'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,

'but I think you misunderstood the instructions the Foreman gave

you yesterday...'




'Your job is to give every Elmo two test tickles”.








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