Guest JudgeMental Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.' John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued.... "May I inquire as to what the turkey did?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 :D ...Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Was the parrot called Rupert by any chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Stop it now Richard. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Why? It's such good fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Richard ... you naughty boy ... you must be kind to dumb animals - bear baiting was banned years and years ago! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Rupert has a little bear, The parrot trots behind it, The little bear was full of wind, And the parrot full of bull..... Can anyone help me out with the next verse please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Richard ... you really ought to stop and wait until Rupert has a chance to respond .... only fair and much more fun! :-> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Been taking lessons in being a complete a*sehole from your mate BGD have You Tracker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Wow Peter ... does the phrase "it takes one one to know one" mean anything to you? (lol) ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Bit BLUE Pete ... :D Get down shep or you won't get a blue peter badge :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Tracker - 2008-12-12 7:57 PM Rupert has a little bear, The parrot trots behind it, The little bear was full of wind, And the parrot full of bull..... Can anyone help me out with the next verse please? Rhyming was never your strong point But would have thought that even you had the wit To give us a rhyme Like you do all the time Namely trotting out loads of bull***t Only kidding Richard and let me wish you and Dot a very Merry Christmas. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Mel has composed a wonderful little poem which does run the possibility of upsetting just the one member. The other benefit is that will makes everyone else smile and/or laugh? Should she post it? What does the panel of experts think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 howie - 2008-12-13 12:53 AM Rhyming was never your strong point But would have thought that even you had the wit To give us a rhyme Like you do all the time Namely trotting out loads of bull***t Only kidding Richard and let me wish you and Dot a very Merry Christmas. ;-) I am known for many crimes the worst of which is awful rhymes so if you feel you could write rhymes get on with it - 'cos now's the time. Thanks Howie and warm seasonal wishes to you and yours - not that it is the warm season! Looking forward to a healthy 2009 for us all - God bless us everyone - including Mr Stingy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Okay .. I've taken my life in my hands and have posted a poem on the stinginess thread .... It's actually not meant to be hurtful, it's more meant to make someone, and others for that matter, think about their actions. :-| We all need friends and the more we have the more likely we are to be able to get help when we need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 All joking aside I would like to think that if push came to shove any of us on here would help out any other person - motorhomer or not - if they were in the right place at the right time and in a position to assist. I know I would - and have done so on many occasions - as no doubt have most if not all of you dear readers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 And there lies the truth of the matter Joking and insults aside When it comes to the crunch we're not a bad bunch And friendship is all that we're after So if you should find yourself in a jam Help is always at hand If you need help with a task You need only to ask Even those who push dogs in a pram Only kidding Melanie and let me wish you and the pups a very Merry Christmas. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGD Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Tracker - 2008-12-13 2:12 PM Mel has composed a wonderful little poem which does run the possibility of upsetting just the one member. The other benefit is that will makes everyone else smile and/or laugh? Should she post it? What does the panel of experts think? Absolutely not! And Rich, I'm surprised at you having to ask that question. If a post, or poem, is only likely to upset one member, then it is piss-poor and needs remedial work before being published. I generally aim at a deeply upsetting total of 4 or 5 people per post, and a mildly annoyed tally of a dozen or so. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 BGD - 2008-12-14 5:00 AM Tracker - 2008-12-13 2:12 PM Mel has composed a wonderful little poem which does run the possibility of upsetting just the one member. The other benefit is that will makes everyone else smile and/or laugh? Should she post it? What does the panel of experts think? Absolutely not! And Rich, I'm surprised at you having to ask that question. If a post, or poem, is only likely to upset one member, then it is piss-poor and needs remedial work before being published. I generally aim at a deeply upsetting total of 4 or 5 people per post, and a mildly annoyed tally of a dozen or so. :D I formally admit defeat and give in then Bruce although I am trying! I must bow to your superior wind up talents and will have to spend more time in the Brucie School of Education for my sins (B S E - sounds familiar dunnit?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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