J9withdogs Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 After the smattering of colloquialisms in another thread, I think it's time to sing the praises of our local culture: AT 00.54 ON MONDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER 2002 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT, MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON DUDLEY, WEST MIDLANDS Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Yam Orwight?", "Boing Boing" and "Bostin". The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused: * Many were woken well before their giro arrived * Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged * Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed * Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Dudley *One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chantal-Leanne came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning." *Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. *The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken masses. *Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos. HOW YOU CAN HELP Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Flat caps Donkey Jackets Heavy Twill Trousers (Male) Shell Suits (Female) Boots. Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include: - Faggots Grey Peas Pork Scratchings Tripe and Onions "Pigs Blood Pud" Banks's Bitter or Mild * £2 buys chips, scraps and blue pop for a family of four * £10 can take a family to Stourport for the day, where children can play on an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of stinging nettles * 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim Please send your credit card number.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick H. Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 So how many P.C.s did you break there,then J.9. Mick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Errmm... none, I think. I'm a yam yam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 If this thread, or any other joke, was about any other race than white British it would have been pulled. Says a lot for so called racism and racial equality in Brown's Britain dunnit? I am surprised that we are still allowed to call a black dog black and a brown dog brown - let alone a silly bitch - as it might upset the sensitivities of some dogs and their PC owners! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 A Brummie takes his new wife home on their wedding night. she lies on the bed spread eagled & says `Eh Bert, you know what I want` Bert replies `all the f#?*#ng bed by the look of things` Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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