CliveH Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 This really works...! If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopesy Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Can you put them in at the same time?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Worked for me! One of them looked a lot better than the other tho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 Ok - so this has done the rounds before - but it does bare repeating! HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coa**e bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Beats me what women expect of a man Clive and third time i,ve had this application rejected. Any suggestions. :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 :D :D :D :D Oh no. Another one that I'll remember when I'm alone walking through Asda and burst out laughing aloud. If I ever disappear for a while, it's cos they've locked me up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 No need to worry about being locked up Joy. These will open any door. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I'm trying to make up a really good caption for your photo Howie ... I'll keep thinking! :$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie gibblebucket Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Mel B - 2009-03-14 6:24 PM I'm trying to make up a really good caption for your photo Howie ... I'll keep thinking! :$ My spacehopper wasn't that shape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Mel B - 2009-03-14 6:24 PM I'm trying to make up a really good caption for your photo Howie ... I'll keep thinking! :$ No wonder the poor guy has a headache! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 Is it just me or does anyone else think that a similar door knocker but one displaying a couple of female attributes would be a good idea?? Novelty Knockers they would be. I reckon they would sell well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Oh no, sorry Clive. THEY would be described as sexist. Such is the hypocricy of this world .... :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Would you dare to knock on this door? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Yes, (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malc d Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 J9withdogs - 2009-03-16 11:19 AM Would you dare to knock on this door? Is that a club you belong Janine ? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CliveH Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 Yes - I would - but then - I really do like knockers (.)(.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROON Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 .... and I'm right BEHIND you, Ria 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Dont be scared, Joy. I will take care of you. Says she shaking.. (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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