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In his Happy New Year speech to the nation today Flash Gordon (saviour of the universe) announced that under the next New Labour government insignificant thoughts will have a very generous tax free threshold of 50 per day, semi serious thoughts will be taxed at 10p each, serious thoughts taxed at 20p each, whilst humorous thoughts will be banned altogether and thoughts detrimental to the government will become a criminal offence punishable by serving an unpaid community service sentence working as an accountant, solicitor, banker or estate agent.

 

Persistent offenders will be assimilated - resistance is futile - we are Labour!

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