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Hospital visit


nightrider

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howie - 2010-01-04 7:13 PM

 

You,ve got to be kidding Margaret and any gathering of females guarantees a full repertoire of every operation ever performed, and some more. 8-)

 

;-) You shouldn't be listening Howie!! and NO we talk about our husbands and always come to the conclusion that YOUR all the same , never take any notice when were feeling off! but come that sniffle!!!!!!!!! *-)

 

Anyway I hope everything went alright for N.O.T.R. and he enjoyed his cup of tea and Kit Kat afterwards. :-D

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knight of the road - 2010-01-04 8:53 PM

 

maggyd - 2010-01-04 6:27 PM

 

knight of the road - 2010-01-02 5:14 PM

 

Got to go to hospital next week for a Colonoscopy, this is a procedure where they insert a camera up your exhaust pipe, not looking forward to it but it has to be done.

Once these hospitals get a grip of you they won't let go and when you hear the slap of rubber gloves you know whats coming, I think every part of my body has been minutely examined and half the staff and possibly some of the patients of the Royal Oldham Hospital have donned the old rubber gloves and poked and prodded my rear end.

Mind you, its a good conversational thing with wimmen cos wimmen love talking about doctors and hospitals and illnesses dont they?

One thing about the Oldham Royal is that they have a superb restaurant as good as any top class hotel.

 

 

 

 

???????? Wimmin?????? What does that say about you then K.O.R. I haven't noticed anyone but the MEN on here talking about their Bits and Pieces. Yes since you bring it up I too have had similar procedures!! but I haven't told anyone ;-) Men just like plenty of sympathy!! I hate to think what Men would talk about if they were ever to give BIRTH. (lol) (lol)

aaw dont start that one Maggy, what about what us men have to go through? ripped and torn knee's not to mention carpet burns to ones knee's *-)

 

 

Youve got a good Memory then (lol)

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Just my luck, the hospital has just rang cancelling all appointments due to the weather conditions the staff can't get in.

It started snowing at tea time last night and it is still snowing now at 12.15pm, I have already had a glass of that horrible stuff that makes you 'go' will have to have something to eat I am starving.

I called on the old lady next door to see if she was ok and to give me a ring if she needed anything from the shops, never seen as much snow as this for years, it looks beautiful though, I caught it all on my camcorder, the M/H would not start yesterday the battery was as flat as a fluke but its ok now after charging it up.

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maggyd - 2010-01-05 1:32 PM

 

OH HECK :-S thats bad luck !! my nerves cant stand cancellations!!

I'll tell you what, that stuff that they tell you to take works, by god does it work, I said to my wife you dare start laughing and I will brain you.

Five minutes later she is on the phone telling everyone of my little 'mishap' so I said to her why dont you put an announcement in the Bury Times and let the rest of the town know.

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Syd - 2010-01-05 12:54 PM

 

What a wonderful start to 2010 you are having Malcolm, it just goes to show that you always get repaid in kind for your previous actions in life >:-) >:-)

Syd,

Not blowing my own trumpet but I am a really nice kinda guy, in this kind of weather my first thoughts are for my garden birds, I make sure they are well fed before I feed myself. Check on my elderly neighbours and go to the shop for their morning papers etc.

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knight of the road - 2010-01-05 3:02 PM

Syd,

Not blowing my own trumpet but I am a really nice kinda guy, in this kind of weather my first thoughts are for my garden birds, I make sure they are well fed before I feed myself. Check on my elderly neighbours and go to the shop for their morning papers etc.

 

 

 

Well at least I got the first bit right then

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Happily, I'm in a position to help Malcolm. A fellow forum member is in trouble and I am willing to step into the breach. Seems a shame to have wasted all that time fasting.

I've got this old video camera see. Its a bit bulky, but perfectly serviceble. We can have a scan around and send the VHS tape to the experts for their professional opinion.

I mean how hard can it be ? Of course, you will probably have to forgo the cello practice for a few weeks, but 'no pain, no gain' as they say. Although we haven't been formally introduced, I feel that I know you so well through our chats that I am willing to help out in your hour of need.

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Syd - 2010-01-06 4:54 PM

 

Mel

Do you know if they use forcepts for an anal spread

 

I am not reading any more of these, you're only trying to put the frighteners on me.

When I was going to have a biopsy the nurse said we can give you gas and air if you want, I said yes by all means bring it on, I think I must have taken in the whole of the bottle, never felt a thing but I was as high as a kite for about 3 hours after.

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howie - 2010-01-07 7:09 PM

 

Don,t think any of us can stand the tension that long Malcolm so maybe you could arrange to have a video copy made, in glorious colour, of the whole procedure to compliment your undoubted discriptive talents. ;-)

 

howie,

I am anxious to get this procedure over and done with, I want to see if their findings tally with my self diagnosis, my 6th sense has never let me down yet. Quite by chance and as a none drinker I found that a nip of whisky and lemonade offered me some relief.

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knight of the road - 2010-01-07 7:51 PM

 

I got a phone call from the hospital late this afternoon, they said don't worry about a thing because they are flying in professor Hachenabusch who is a specialist from Zurich.

Apparently my case is baffling medical science.

 

 

Oh, Iv'e heard that he is a bum surgeon

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knight of the road - 2010-01-07 7:51 PM I got a phone call from the hospital late this afternoon, they said don't worry about a thing because they are flying in professor Hachenabusch who is a specialist from Zurich. Apparently my case is baffling medical science.

Hi Malc,

          No disrespect here Malc just a bit confused. You must have a very large orifice if they can fly someone in. :D :D  

Keep sledging, but mind the bumps

Dave

emoticons not working, nowt2do with you is it Malc?

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  • 2 weeks later...

THIS IS A NEWS FLASH!!!

Surgeons at Manchester Northern General today operated on the rear end of a patient from Bury. The surgeon, Mr Shufflebottom (see picture below), reported that the operation was successful but due to a severe blow back from the exhaust, has decided that if this patient needs treatment again he will have to refer him to his colleague Mr Bottomly (an expert potholer). Mr Shuttlebottoms final word was "everything in the garden is okay and everything should be coming up roses". :D :D 

By local Reporter,  Dave

1915893832_MrShufflebottom.jpg.778c54d8871b7698a47f08b2a634778c.jpg

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knight of the road - 2010-01-07 5:06 PM

 

My hospital appointment has been rescheduled for the 20th of Jan, I am being very patient but the discomfort and pain is now beginning to bite.

 

Hope you have now had your tests Malcolm and all went well.... :-)

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'As well as can be expected'. Wonderfull phrase that tells you everything and nothing and makes you wonder why you bothered phoning. Still, got to make the effort, and just to keep the level of excitement running high here's the lastest craze in America. Submarine racing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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sub.jpg.c1c46b78ceaa80cbcff2915d47b5aec7.jpg

sub.jpg.90e77b852810fb74f351237aa8362526.jpg

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