Brock Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Antiprocess is a term often used to describe why people hold on to beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. There are numerous reasons for this including the brain's main function being to store experience that will aid our future survival rather than to store what it considers worthless information. The brain selects the information it can deal with, such as our own experiences, and shuts out information it cannot deal with, such as statements made by others that are contrary to our viewpoint. Consequently, people defend their viewpoint without being able to understand an alternative viewpoint. Because the brain instinctively reacts to protect us, sometimes we cannot help but be annoying. Forums are great breeding grounds for antiprocess because our brain tends to see the unknown as a threat. As you get to know people better, such as face to face, the brain can make a more accurate assessment of the threat to survival. For more information, see: http://www.cardsmithing.com/legacy/antiprocess/antiprocess.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 This should really be on chatterbox! I've never fallen out with anyone on here but one or two have chosen to fall out with me! I don't have a problem with them and neither do I see anyone else as a threat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Elswood Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Well Brock, I don't know about the 'science' of this subject, but as I see it the majority of people on this forum are genuinely trying to be helpful. As in all walks of life you will always get the odd one or two who perhaps are more rigid in their views on various topics than others. It is only a 'forum' after all, and if people want to get all 'uptight' on issues that are discussed on here then as far as I am concerned then that is their problem and not mine!! On the whole most have a good sense of humour coupled with good informative information to offer!! All I can say is , 'chill out everyone' and have another cider!! (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clive Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 "This should really be on chatterbox" Disagree! I only ever look at the Motorhome forum. "always get the odd one or two who perhaps are more rigid in their views on various topics than others. " That'l be me then! C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 wanna fight over it :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Unfortunately this forum, IMV, isn't the nice place it used to be - often threads just deteriorate because some people want to take offence, or read things into postings that aren't there, just for the heck of it. I don't have a problem with different views, I welcome them, often they can give a different slant to something, and make you think. But it's the way some just have to make snide remarks and comments about others with the intention of being clever or hurtful that I don't like. I've got to admit that I've been doing some posting on another forum because I'm sick to death of it and, whilst there is a bit of gentle sparing, I've not yet come across some of the nasty stuff that can occasionally be seen on here. It appears that some of the perpetrators on here are not on the other forum so for the time being I'll keep 'playing' on there too when I want a bit of light hearted relief. Oh - Colin ... I'll give you a snow-ball fight if you like! :-> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Mel B - 2010-02-15 9:30 PM Oh - Colin ... I'll give you a snow-ball fight if you like! :-> Thats it! keyboards at dawn. I frequent another forum re my 'other activities', it has a big membership usualy around a thousand users online at any one time and a good spread of ages from around 14 upwards, generaly I guess many members have a far right mentality but there's still a few left wingers as well, believe me this is a far gentler forum, I've known up to four members per day get banned when the going gets rough, and theres usualy a couple suspended at any one time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handyman Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 It was so bad on here a while ago, admin had to ban some members from the site 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Kirby Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 If anyone is really interested, I think there are two, relatively simple, reasons why the fights start.First, is a certain carelessness in reading what has, actually, been written, as opposed to what seems to have been written because a post has been hastily "skimmed". The original poster is liable to be just a little offended by the (careless)reader's apparent disrespect for their words.Second, is an apparent reluctance to read one's own post before submitting it, to see if it might actually be taken to be abrasive, insulting, demeaning etc. There are a few who, in their own terms, express themselves in a "forthright" manner, and just expect everyone else to reel their horns in - as they should by now know him/her and make the necessary allowances etc. etc. I'm afraid to me this is just conceit. Any post should be carefully read and worded so that no-one need feel aggrieved by its perceived tone. I do try, but must admit I also fail. Still, despite my best attempts to give the opposite impression, my excuse is that I am but a mere mortal! :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brambles Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Shall we start a cognitive behavioural therapy thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poppy Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Brian I am with you on every word of that post :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 There are also those who are deliberately set out to cause disruption on a thread - affectionately known as trolls. They are apparently in contact with each other, as the usual suspects all tend to roll-out when a spat kicks-off. Best not to feed them if possible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Uzzell Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 In a recent newspaper article on the pros and cons of the Internet it was said that the time-honoured custom of polite disagreement (eg. "I beg to differ" or "I understand what you saying, but...") was an early victim. People are unpleasant to each other on internet forums simply because they enjoy it and can get away with it. It's an inverse version of the 'sticks and stones' adage: you can say what you like secure in the knowledge that the worst that can happen is you get bad-mouthed back or (horror of horrors!) have your forum account deleted. Few (if any) forum members would be aggressively rude to strangers face-to-face, as they would know full well what the likely consequences would be. I can't say 'handbags at dawn' in-fighting concerns me, but it must be an eye-opener for people new to internet forums and/or of a delicate disposition. Perhaps there could be an extra forum section ("Cage-fighters' Corner"?) on the lines of "Chatterbox" but with teeth, where people could really get into each other slagging-off-wise. Or a special set of emoticons indicating things like "I know I'm being unpleasant, but it's just for personal amusement as I'm a pussycat at heart and don't really mean it". Or a Big Brother approach with voting on who has been "Rude-Boy (or Rude-Girl) of the Week" - that might be fun. Anyway, all you 'Mr Angry's had better watch out as, when the revised Warners forum goes live in a couple of months time, there's going to be amateur Moderators from within the forum membership (like on MotorHomeFacts). So, as invariably happens when people are given power, you can expect a Rule of Terror to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 This forum, and indeed the world , would be a better place if the same ' rules of engagement' were adhered to by everyone who participates. It is all very well stating that some posters do not stop and think before they reply, or that he/she will not listen to anyone else's views or that they read things that aren't there and their replies are offensive. These comments are usually made by the same people all the time, they will intervene in a spat between two people and do nothing but exasperate the situation, but do they ever stop to think that maybe the person their comments are aimed at might take offence, do they believe whoever they decide to admonish should just roll over and take the criticism without having the right to defend themselves, seems pretty unfair to me and stinks of hypocrisy and double standards. On several occasions I have been on the end of these pack attacks, and that is all they are when you look closely at them, what starts out as a discussion/spat with one person, degenerates into a full blown slanging match that brings the usual suspects out of the woodwork, this then leads to all the forum cliches being dusted off and thrown at (me) or whoever is the target of the forum mafia, these include, in no particular order........... You never listen to anyone's views except your own. You think you are always right. That's right throw your toys out of your pram Take your ball and run off As usual you are looking for an argument. The list could go on and on. So what should a person do in a situation like that, if they respond to the accusations and insults from others, then they are branded as trouble makers, whatever they say will be turned round into more ammunition for the pack, but if they just walk away and stop posting on the subject, then they will be accused of spitting their dummy out and running away. These are sayings you would expect to hear in a child's playground, but no, these are thrown about by adults, most of whom are in their 50s and 60s. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. What it really boils down to is this, when others disagree with you , then they are only expressing their opinion and that they have a right to do it, however, if you are one of the unfortunate ones, then when you express your opinion or disagree with someone, then you are a trouble maker who is looking for an argument and will not except the views and opinions of others. I have put my opinions to this thread because I know that I am one of the people that several of the comments are aimed at, they don't have to name names, and I know that several other people will read it and know the same. It doesn't bother me, why should it, I was bullied enough throughout my childhood and have developed a thick skin, what goes on on here is no different to playground bullying, it's just that you have learnt new words, each of the bullies will portray themselves as good upstanding people, and will be very selective in what they write, just enough to offend the recipient, but clever enough to ensure they remain as one of the good guys to the rest of the pack. So when I have to put up with people saying that they have stopped posting on threads that I have entered into because they are scared of being on the end of one of my rants, I think to myself, shall I post the pm they sent me, inviting me to " bring it on, cos I'll get as good as I give" or should I just be thankful that there is one less bully to contend with next time I have the audacity to disagree with someone. So, the world would be pretty boring if no-one disagreed with anyone , however, it would be a better place if people kept out of things that turn into arguments between 2 consenting adults. Remember that a cornered animal will fight twice as hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porky Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Brian Kirby - 2010-02-15 11:40 PM Still, despite my best attempts to give the opposite impression, my excuse is that I am but a mere mortal! :-D A mere mortal, no Brian, no Brian. Toi??(lol) Is that being provocative when it is meant to be light hearted. I think if light hearted banter were to be removed it would be a great shame. I do think this type of thread should be on chatterbox though and perhaps one thing moderators could do is to move threads on to the appropriate section at their discretion. This forum for me has been a great source of information and help and I am sure for some even inspirational. So I add my name to the list of those who want good sound advice not childish reactions. Roy Fuller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raindrop Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Not interested in rubbish, only interesting facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GypsyTom Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 J9withdogs - 2010-02-16 8:15 AMThere are also those who are deliberately set out to cause disruption on a thread - affectionately known as trolls.They are apparently in contact with each other, as the usual suspects all tend to roll-out when a spat kicks-off.Best not to feed them if possible! It's actually this kind of post that creates the problems being discussed in this thread. I do not know of anyone who deliberately enters a thread just to cause trouble. I actually post very little on this site and only post when I have something to say. I'd actually no intention of joining this thread until this post appeared but once again I am moved to respond to what I see as a most unfair and unreasonable comment. Some weeks ago Mel B asked for advice on electric bikes and as I have some knowledge of these I gave some advice. One regular poster actually congratulated me on the advice given and agreed entirely with my views. Some time later the 'Woe is me' thread started and I felt that certain people, all regulars by the way, were being incredibly unfair to Hartley's, who'd asked for a couple of days to sort out Poppy's problems. Even before Hartley's had been given this chance they were being accused of lying and of doing underhand deals. I objected strongly to what I felt was a totally unfair attack on a reputable dealer and said so in the thread. Because I criticised his comments as being unfair, the same poster who, a little earlier, had congratulated me on my input, now called me a troll! The definition of a troll on this site appears to be anyone who has the temerity to disagree with certain people for whom this forum seems to be a major part of their lives and it's no wonder that 'Out and About Live' is so sparsely populated compared to other motorhome forums. My own opinion is that some people on this forum enjoy being a big fish in a small pool and react badly when anyone else disrupts their cosy little pool. I wish Warners well if they are trying to revamp it and I agree that there should be more moderators. If there are people who can monitor threads much more closely there is a chance that appalling threads such as the 'Woe is me' one, will be removed very quickly. And I must add here that my criticism of that thread is not aimed at Poppy but at those regular posters who were so quick to join the Hartley's lynch mob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Derek Uzzell - 2010-02-16 8:21 AM Anyway, all you 'Mr Angry's had better watch out as, when the revised Warners forum goes live in a couple of months time, there's going to be amateur Moderators from within the forum membership (like on MotorHomeFacts). So, as invariably happens when people are given power, you can expect a Rule of Terror to begin with. As I am known for my moderation and tolerance can I be an amateur moderator please if I promise not to start the New Spanish Inquisition because nobody will be expecting that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euroserv Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Nice one Rich. Gypsy Tom makes one interesting point, perhaps without realising the significance. It was Poppy who started a thread called "Woe is me" on a Friday afternoon, seeking the advice and input of what is known to be a wide pool of knowledge, paranoia and sympathy without waiting until the following day to see what the dealer intended to do. Poppy stated that they would be speaking to the dealer on Saturday and thereby incited the worst kind of conspiracy theories because Poppy would not wait for that next contact. If you have faith in your dealer, why would you incite the members of the forum in such a way without being a tiny bit patient yourself? It was meant to provoke a range of comment and that it certainly did. For the future I suggest a little patience while you gather your facts about something so important and then perhaps contributors could refrain from making it personal. If you begin a thread with the title "OMG" or "Oh Crap" or "I Have been ripped off, help!" don't be surprised if the cavalry attend. Anyway, what do I know, I "only fix a few vans". Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Fair comment Nick, but can you blame Poppy for wanting to know some options or possible courses of action prior to speaking to the dealer as at that time she had no way of knowing that they would be on her side and keen to do the right thing for her? I do not want to put words in her mouth but maybe she was woried sick with so much money at stake and even the potential loss of her existing van - I know that I would have been? You can't really blame anyone for over reacting at the time under the percieved circumstances and it is always easy to think differently in retospect but once again I do agree that the thread would have been much better without the infighting. If there is one thing to be learnt can I please suggest that none of us carry our spats on one thread over onto the next threads. You will see many of my threads edited and this is because after reading them back I often need to reword to clarify - not that I always achieve this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I agree with Donna for what its worth ..Cuase Me I'm Jsut Prefcet :D What do I know , I know we should all stop fighting lifes short enough :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trooper Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Brock could be referring to me ,re my views on tyres. I always try to be truthful and honest and post on facts that in my limited knowledge are true. It has been said one must believe the experts, like global warming at UEA, coffee is good for you, then its bad for you, red wine is good , then not, then only if you drink enough. as for tests , how many testers mentioned juddering etc when the new fiats came out. you can go on and on. No everyone is entitled to their opinion, but where possible its never good to get personal because we can all be found wrong in the future, I would apologize if at anytime I have offended, P.S not very good with words or computers I also go on the other Forum and attend rallies etc and not once have anyone been other than pleasant and respectfull to me, I believe there are over 40000 members, does this tell you something. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I don't think Brock was referring to anyone specific, which is always the best way, except that it can encourage feelings of guilt in most of us and feelings of 'he can't mean me' in a few! Let's all just go on agreeing to disagree and not fall out over trivia! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Hi Michele, thanks for that. I used to be perfect as well, but now I'm so much better. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Momma Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 For what it's worth....... I consider myself to be quite a tolerant person with a sense of humour and someone who would never delibeately go out of my way to offend or insult anyone else. However, last year I suffered with kidney stones for a period of 3 months. During that time I was in quite considerable pain and had to have lots of time off work. To keep myself occupied I used to log on to this forum and join in the chatter. Unfortunately, due to my pain and discomfort I became intolerant of some of the posts that were appearing and instead of my more usual behaviour of ignoring them I found myself making angry posts in response which only served to make the situation worse. Unfortunately, and quite unexpectedly I recently suffered again with kidney stones and have only just returned to work. During that time I elected to stay off the forum so that I did not let the effect of my pain and discomfort spill over again in to acts of spontanious 'intolerance' of other's comments or opinions. I guess what I am trying to say,and not very well, is that sometimes there are things that happen in a person's personal life that effects the way that they would normally behave. That is not in any way trying to condone those actions but just to emphasise that we are after all just mere mortals. Pleased to say that I am now pain free and catching up on all the gossip, slander and abuse that I have missed for too long :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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