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2010 Darwin awards

Guest JudgeMental

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Guest JudgeMental


Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are


bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious winner:




1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim


during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James


Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the


barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honourable mentions:




2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting


machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his


insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its


men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a


finger. The chef's claim was approved.




3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car


during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman


had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.




4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver


found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting


from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his


incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone


waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the


mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very


excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't


discovered for 3 days.




5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious


head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received


the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how


close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.




6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the


counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,


the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which


the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and


fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he


got from the drawer... $15. [if someone points a gun at you and gives


you money, is a crime committed?]




7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided


that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab


some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over


his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the


would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store


window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.




8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man


grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the


woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.


Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in


the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of


the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,


"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."




9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a


Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and


demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't


open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion


rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man,


frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]




10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on


a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police


arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor


home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted


to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the


motor home's sewage tank by mistake.. The owner of the vehicle declined


to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends


and family.




*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***

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So would some motorhomers I think - the ones who think they should be able to park wherever they want, for as long as they want!! >:-(


Reading through these again, some of them aren't strictly "Darwin" entrants (within the meaning of the Act) are they?

Darwin awards originally went to people who actually improved the gene pool by their premature absence from it, and regrettably some of this lot could still breed.

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