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2010 Darwin awards


Guest JudgeMental

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Guest JudgeMental

 

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are

 

bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

 

Here is the glorious winner:

 

 

 

1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

 

during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James

 

Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the

 

barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

 

And now, the honourable mentions:

 

 

 

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting

 

machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his

 

insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its

 

men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a

 

finger. The chef's claim was approved.

 

 

 

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

 

during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman

 

had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

 

 

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

 

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting

 

from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his

 

incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone

 

waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the

 

mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very

 

excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't

 

discovered for 3 days.

 

 

 

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious

 

head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received

 

the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how

 

close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

 

 

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

 

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

 

the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which

 

the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and

 

fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he

 

got from the drawer... $15. [if someone points a gun at you and gives

 

you money, is a crime committed?]

 

 

 

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided

 

that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab

 

some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over

 

his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the

 

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store

 

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 

 

 

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

 

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the

 

woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

 

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in

 

the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of

 

the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,

 

"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 

 

 

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

 

Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and

 

demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't

 

open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion

 

rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man,

 

frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

 

 

 

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on

 

a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police

 

arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor

 

home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted

 

to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the

 

motor home's sewage tank by mistake.. The owner of the vehicle declined

 

to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

 

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends

 

and family.

 

 

 

*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***

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So would some motorhomers I think - the ones who think they should be able to park wherever they want, for as long as they want!! >:-(

 

Reading through these again, some of them aren't strictly "Darwin" entrants (within the meaning of the Act) are they?

Darwin awards originally went to people who actually improved the gene pool by their premature absence from it, and regrettably some of this lot could still breed.

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