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Best pick-up lines..


J9withdogs

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Once again trawling through the long lists of frogs on the dating sites, I thought I'd seen every variation of pick-up line, at best uninspiring, at worst wrist-slittingly bad.

 

Until I saw this one -

 

Lonely lighthouse keeper seeks lady for an illuminating relationship, must have big bulbs.

 

Now that made me smile (lol) (lol)

 

What's your best line, guys and gals?

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Oh dear, I've heard dozens and couldn't for the life of me, think of the best or the worst.

However, these are some of the cornier ones.........

 

" That outfit is lovely, but it would look better in a heap at the side of my bed."

 

" Let me know how you like your coffee, it will save me waking you in the morning"

 

" Here's my phone, call your Mum and tell her you wont be home"

 

I'm sure you girls have heard worse.

 

 

:-D

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J9withdogs - 2010-03-19 2:14 PM

 

Now that made me smile (lol) (lol)

 

 

So let us know how the date goes, Janine :-D

 

But I'm amazed that a lovely lady lilke you needs to use such sites. Aren't they beating a path to your door? Or do the dogs scare them off?

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Not so much a pick up line, more a put down.

 

My mate's walking home in the evening when he's approached by a prostitute, (sex worker if you like).

 

Do you want business? she asks

 

Do I look like I need business from you? he asks

 

Well you are going home on your own love, she sniggers.

 

Ouch :D :D :D

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We were out with a crowd last year, and one of the younger lads went up to a women in the club we were at and asked her for a dance, the snooty cow looked him up and down and snapped " I don't dance with children", quick as a flash our friends son turned back to her and quipped, " sorry love, didn't realise you were pregnant, I just thought you were a bit tubby".

 

Classic.

 

Women can be such bitches sometimes. *-)

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Just for you J9.....

 

 

I drove my old Motorhome through your haystack last night

(ooh aah ooh aah)

I threw me hook up lead at your dog to keep it quiet

(ooh aah ooh aah)

Now something's telling me

That you're avoiding me

Come on now darling you've got something I need

 

Cuz I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty euro maps

An' you got a Sat Nav model 43

Now I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

 

She made I laugh ha ha

 

I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need

We'll 'ave twins and triplets

I'm a man built for speed

And you know I'll love you darlin'

So give me your hand

But what I want the most

Is the Sat Nav that you have

 

Cuz I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty euro maps

An' you got a Sat Nav model 43

Now I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

 

Ooaah she's a lovely bit of stuff an' all

 

For seven long years I've roamed alone in Europe

Eat, sleep, in the overhead bunk, it's a proper disgrace

Now if I cleaned it up would you change your mind

I'll give up sniffing Calor gas and that toilet fluid too

 

Cuz I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty euro maps

An' you got a sat nav model 43

Now I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

 

Who loves ya baby ha

 

Weren't we a grand couple at that last Motorhome meet

I had an awning and me levelling ramps

In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand

We had our photos took and us holding hands

 

Now I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

Now that we've both past our driving test I think that you and me

Should stop this galavanting and will you marry me

Coz I got a brand new Motorhome

An' I'll give you the key

 

Aahh yu're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to get me 'ands on your Sat Nav model 43.

 

 

edit - you try typing this up without loads of errors!

 

 

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