Mel B Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Subject: Harrods A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price!" :D
Guest peter Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Brilliant Mel. Not gleaned from personal experience I hope. :D
Guest Tracker Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Penguins Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ? Wonder no more ! ! ! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: "Freeze a jolly good fellow" "Freeze a jolly good fellow.." "Then they kick him in the ice hole." You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!
Mel B Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 .... no .. just meerkats! Simples!!!! :-D
skyrider Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Mel B - 2010-11-24 7:26 PM Subject: Harrods A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price!" :D ha ha ha sound
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