BGD Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Your posh word for today: A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect..... Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left. Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ? Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid. Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 You're all welcome to my house, call anytime we're not in.Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 If we have sex, I will still respect you afterwards :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 By afterwards, do you mean after you've paid her/him. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 peter - 2011-02-01 7:51 PM By afterwards, do you mean after you've paid her/him. :D Of course 8-) what do think marriage is about :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 And there was me thinking that Paraprosdokian was the prime minister of Greece? I am indeed indebted to my learned friend! What's brought about this sudden appetite for education Bruce - too cold to go out and play in Spain is it - or are the cafes all closed today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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