Corky 8 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 The New Keeper at the Zoo A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 A couple driving home ran over a Badger.They got out the car and went over to it and found that the Badger was still breathing but very cold."Quick" said the husband to his wife, "Put it between your legs and warm it up." The wife replied, "No its all wet and smelly."Husband replies....." Well hold its bloody nose then!!"Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Politically incorrect but here goes.........!!A Black guy goes to the doctors and said, "every time I have sex with a white girl, my eyes sting."Doctor said, "that will be the pepper spray." ..................................................I was on the train this morning sitting opposite to a beautiful Thai girl and thinking to myself........please don't get an erection on...!! She did !!Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 The seating plan at the church where Gerry Rafferty's funeral was held was.........Clowns to the left and Jokers to the right, the rest were stuck in the middle.Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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