Corky 8 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Understanding Engineers Understanding Engineers: we are not the best communicators, hope this helps! I think these may have been around before, but are still funny. Understanding Engineers OneTwo engineering students were walking across a university campus when onesaid, "Where did you get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothesprobably wouldn't have fit you anyway." Understanding Engineers TwoTo the optimist, the glass is half-full.To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They'rerather slow, aren't they?"The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. Theylost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I thinkI will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologistcolleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?Mechanical engineers build weaponsCivil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers Five The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must havedesigned the human body.One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system hasmany thousands of electrical connections. "The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Whoelse would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Understanding Engineers SevenNormal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.Understanding Engineers EightAn engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him andsaid, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, theengineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautifulprincess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.Why won't you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.