Jump to content

Jack Schitt


Recommended Posts

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an

intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Lodza Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.



Crock O. Schitt

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest peter

That's funny, I met Anthony 1969's Swedish lover the other day. Pila Schitt. She was with his Jewish grannie Havina Schitt. (lol)


Keep it coming guys, I can last as long as you. But lets not get nasty. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Price of gas in France


A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.



After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.


However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.


When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'



I had no Monet



To buy Degas



To make the Van Gogh.'



See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.


I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse .


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bride And Groom

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.

Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He said 'How bad is it doc?

I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin - in every way'

The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.'

He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon.

That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts.

She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.'

He immediately drops his pants and replies,



'Look at this. . .... . . .. ..still in the CRATE!'


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Tracker

Then there was the vertically challenged family member - Schitt Less


And the educationally challenger farmer - Pig Schitt.


And his mate Bull Schitt.


And the Italian stallion - Inza Schitt

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...