Syd Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Lodza Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Syd - 2011-04-02 9:35 AM Crock O'Schitt Must be from the Irish side of the family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Brilliant Syd! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 And Richards real name...........Fulla Schitt. (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 You can always rely on Peter to say nothing pleasant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Its just Peters way of showing affection Rich :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 You got it Dave. I thought he had a sense of humour. Perhaps not. Still I love him really. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Syd, I know them. Met them at a car show, they came in their Schitt Cart.Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antony1969 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Think I met Peters Norwegian cousin once , Tork Schitt , nice chap . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 antony1969 - 2011-04-03 9:18 PM Think I met Peters Norwegian cousin once , Tork Schitt , nice chap . Bet Tracker likes that. :DDave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 That's funny, I met Anthony 1969's Swedish lover the other day. Pila Schitt. She was with his Jewish grannie Havina Schitt. (lol) Keep it coming guys, I can last as long as you. But lets not get nasty. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Price of gas in France A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet To buy Degas To make the Van Gogh.' See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Bride And Groom A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.' He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.' He immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at this. . .... . . .. ..still in the CRATE!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Check this out for lucky people http://www.jokeroo.com/videos/extreme/lucky-people.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antony1969 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 my local asian newsagent looking a bit bloated this morning , Khant schitt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 They should try Ex Lax, then the would be Plenty O'schitt. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Then there was the vertically challenged family member - Schitt Less And the educationally challenger farmer - Pig Schitt. And his mate Bull Schitt. And the Italian stallion - Inza Schitt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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