postnote Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 In light of the latest problems facing the European currency, e.g. Ireland and Portugal having had a bailout Greece facing collapse and needing another bailout, a Belgian bank collapsing and now Italy teetering on the brink and possibly tipping Austria over the edge... Should the UK adopt the Euro? A cross-section survey of 10,000 people in Blackburn, made up of a representative sample of local citizens consisting of Afghans, Albanians, Pakistanis, Indians, Poles, Iraqis, Somalis, Bosnians, Turks, Moldovans, Latvians, Lithuanians, Bangladeshis, Ethiopians, Russians, Congolese and Zimbabweans were asked if they thought Britain should change its currency and adopt the Euro. 99.9% said no, they were happy with the Giro. ;-) ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Braykewynde Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Naughty Postnote. A few on here will actually believe that and start ranting about their human rights and their rights to benefits (lol) I'm waiting now for the expected respondents :-S Step forward Symbol, I see you're online (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Peter James Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Well I must admit postnote me laugh. Incidentally, we keep reading about the Euro colllapse but its about the same against the pound as this time last year. And stronger against the pound than when it was introduced. I guess thats why Cameron has fallen out over it with the rest of Europe. They won't join in the money printing spree and debase their currrency as much as the pound. PS: do they still have the Giro by the way? Haven't heard of it for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?' Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.' 'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?' Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.' 'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.' The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?' Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her." The nun had to leave the room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Sorry did not work out as expected http://dingo.care2.com/cards/flash/5409/galaxy.swf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Subject: Aboriginal Tracker An Australian tour guide was showing a group of Canadian tourists the Top End On their way back from Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, underthe sea. The Canadians were incredulous. Later in the tour they rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine. "Jimmy Fella," said the tour guide,” what are you tracking and what are you listening for?" The aborigine replied, "Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971Valiant Ute. It's a red one - red ones go fasta. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack, and him got bloody dents in every panel. There are 9 black fellas in the back, all drinking warm sherry. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6dogs on the front seat." The Canadian tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise anddetailed knowledge. "God man, how do you know all that?" asked one. The Aborigine replied, “I fell out of the feckin thing about halfhour ago!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
postnote Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Lord Braykewynde - 2011-12-31 10:13 AM Naughty Postnote. A few on here will actually believe that and start ranting about their human rights and their rights to benefits (lol) I'm waiting now for the expected respondents :-S Step forward Symbol, I see you're online (lol)Your Lordship, I think that the respondents you are thinking of won't understand the gravity of the post ;-) ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightrider Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Syd - 2011-12-31 4:03 PM Subject: Aboriginal Tracker An Australian tour guide was showing a group of Canadian tourists the Top End On their way back from Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, underthe sea. The Canadians were incredulous. Later in the tour they rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine. "Jimmy Fella," said the tour guide,” what are you tracking and what are you listening for?" The aborigine replied, "Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971Valiant Ute. It's a red one - red ones go fasta. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack, and him got bloody dents in every panel. There are 9 black fellas in the back, all drinking warm sherry. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6dogs on the front seat." The Canadian tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise anddetailed knowledge. "God man, how do you know all that?" asked one. The Aborigine replied, “I fell out of the feckin thing about halfhour ago!” (lol) (lol) another gud un from Syd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Braykewynde Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 The joke Syd made reminded me of an ol' un that I heard all of 40 years ago. An aborigine and his dog Bonzo were walking across the Nullarbor plain. Half way across he ran out of food and the hunger pains became too much that one night he sat by the camp fire and looked down at Bonzo. He said " Well Bonzo, you've been a good dog to me all these years, hunting and providing me with food and I realise that at 15 years old you cannot do that anymore so it's come that time to say goodbye". After cooking Bonzo on the fire and eating him he looked down at the pile of bones, tears streaming down his face and said "Bugger, Bonzo would have liked those bones". :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Hi Donna Sorry about these jokes, honest Jokes Blokes Don't Tell Women!! How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for?' A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving. ' Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says. The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I sh****d on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my rear?' 'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Male Fairy Tale: Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!”And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgan Rum and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. THE END. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Always be very careful what you wish for http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1056794/wishing_well/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Braykewynde Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I see Austria has now banned blonde jokes so get as many in as possible because no doubt this will be taken onboard by the EU and the ECHR :-S http://www.austriantimes.at/news/General_News/2011-12-31/38457/Heard_the_one_about_the_Austrian_blonde%3F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Hi Syd, no need to apollogise to me mate. :-D Most of them are older than me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" The husband asks, ''What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.." It Worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes Passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, Comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my Wife. She's Not my wife. She's not my wife..." His funeral service will be held on Friday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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