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Cruise Ship Safety


CliveH

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  • 2 weeks later...

How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks

 

 

 

What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks

 

 

 

What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain.

 

 

 

When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."

 

 

 

So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.

 

 

 

The captain says he is not guilty of manslaughter. He has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.

 

 

 

I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises. Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.

 

 

 

The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.

 

 

 

What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?

Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.

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Divers searching the stricken cruise ship have found two Glaswegians at the bar. They've told the divers to bugger off, they're all inclusive!!

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Just bought a Lottery ticket to win a cruise in the Mediterranean. Last week's was a rollover....

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Paddy and Murphy are on the cruise ship costa concordia. Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight."

Murphy says, "Everyone will be watching the band."

Paddy says, "There isn't a band playing tonight."

Murphy says "I definitely heard someone say "a band on ship."

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A man phones an airfix model shop and asks, "Do you have a model of an Italian cruise liner?"

The shop owner replies, " Yes. We have just one left"

The man says, "Can you put it on one side for me?"

 

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Hi, Some of the jokes are very good.

 

But back to the subject of the thread, I am really surprised that a ship could sink so quickly after just hitting some rocks.

 

Surely over 100 years ago they knew this sort of thing happens and they tried to build a ship that was unsinkable (Titanic),

 

know that went wrong but over 100 years with all of the technology we have gained since then, I really thought they had developed the principal that was tried on the Titanic, but alas it seems they must have just dismissed the need.

 

Albeit I believe all Oil Tankers have to have double hulls now I assume this would help to stop a ship sinking if it hit rocks below the water line

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Guest pelmetman
braunston - 2012-01-30 8:36 PM

 

Hi, Some of the jokes are very good.

 

Albeit I believe all Oil Tankers have to have double hulls now I assume this would help to stop a ship sinking if it hit rocks below the water line

I agree his Lordship is waisted on here he should be on the stage............blowed if I know how he can remeber them all........I'm lucky if I can remember my name.

 

Back to question........free flood is the problem.......it takes very little to sink a ship.......which is why they are divided into water tight departments.....and when enterig harbour or any other potential hazard the doors between these compartments should be shut........so that a gash the size of a tennis court should not of allowed the ship to sink.........but I suspect that they were not 8-) 8-)

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Guest Peter James
malc d - 2012-01-22 9:54 AM

 

these ships always look so top heavy to me that I'm surprised they stay upright.

 

 

:-(

 

Thats because they are narrow at front and back which is the only part you see - Unless you are a long way away from them with them coming directly towards you, or going directly away from you, then you see how much wider they are in the middle. Its the wide bit in the middle what keeps them upright.

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Peter James - 2012-02-03 10:34 PM

 

Thats because they are narrow at front and back which is the only part you see - Unless you are a long way away from them with them coming directly towards you, or going directly away from you, then you see how much wider they are in the middle. Its the wide bit in the middle what keeps them upright.

Is that how Dave keeps himself upright then???? :D (lol)

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Peter James - 2012-02-03 10:34 PM

 

malc d - 2012-01-22 9:54 AM

 

these ships always look so top heavy to me that I'm surprised they stay upright.

 

 

:-(

 

Thats because they are narrow at front and back which is the only part you see - Unless you are a long way away from them with them coming directly towards you, or going directly away from you, then you see how much wider they are in the middle. Its the wide bit in the middle what keeps them upright.

 

 

 

The explanation from some 'experts' on TV was that although only about 25 % of the ship is underwater, that is where all the weight is.

All the fuel is stored down there, plus with the weight of the engines etc, the centre of gravity is very low.

 

The superstructure above the water line is then constructed of much lighter materials.

 

 

I don't know if they take into account the weight of 3 or 4 thousands passengers, wandering around 'up top'

 

 

:-|

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Guest Peter James
malc d - 2012-02-03 11:03 PM

 

Peter James - 2012-02-03 10:34 PM

 

malc d - 2012-01-22 9:54 AM

 

these ships always look so top heavy to me that I'm surprised they stay upright.

 

 

:-(

 

Thats because they are narrow at front and back which is the only part you see - Unless you are a long way away from them with them coming directly towards you, or going directly away from you, then you see how much wider they are in the middle. Its the wide bit in the middle what keeps them upright.

 

 

 

The explanation from some 'experts' on TV was that although only about 25 % of the ship is underwater, that is where all the weight is.

All the fuel is stored down there, plus with the weight of the engines etc, the centre of gravity is very low.

 

The superstructure above the water line is then constructed of much lighter materials.

 

 

I don't know if they take into account the weight of 3 or 4 thousands passengers, wandering around 'up top'

 

 

:-|

 

But the fuel tanks won't always be heavy because they won't always be full?

Certainly a lot of weight high above the waterline on the car ferries.

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Guest Peter James
pelmetman - 2012-01-30 9:01 PM

 

braunston - 2012-01-30 8:36 PM

 

Hi, Some of the jokes are very good.

 

Albeit I believe all Oil Tankers have to have double hulls now I assume this would help to stop a ship sinking if it hit rocks below the water line

I agree his Lordship is waisted on here he should be on the stage............blowed if I know how he can remeber them all........I'm lucky if I can remember my name.

 

Back to question........free flood is the problem.......it takes very little to sink a ship.......which is why they are divided into water tight departments.....and when enterig harbour or any other potential hazard the doors between these compartments should be shut........so that a gash the size of a tennis court should not of allowed the ship to sink.........but I suspect that they were not 8-) 8-)

 

I gather it was designed to withstand two compartments being flooded. But in the gash flooded 3 compartments.

Apparently the Captain had gone out in deep water before turning back and grounding it on the rocks. Would have been so much worse if it had gone down a few minutes earlier when it was in deep water.

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Guest pelmetman
The science is no different to what keeps an aircraft carrier up right ;-).................but I suspect it not the ship that failed but its crew ..........and by definition its skipper *-)
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