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Elderly Drivers


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Saw this today and thought it was amusing. Must not get too blase though as I will be there soon enough.


There are now more than a million drivers over the age of 80 on Britain's roads.


Do not let this worry you. Statistics show octogenarians are among the safest motorists with an accident rate three times lower than speedsters aged from 17 to 19 years of age.


To be on the safe side, the Government may wish to add a chapter to the Highway Code for the over-80s. For instance, if you can't remember where you left the car you may not be fit to drive.


Once in the car, leave plenty of time to prepare for your journey. Have your carer enter details of destination into the sat nav. Check that with your six layers of thermal vests, fleeces, cardigans and anorak you can move your arms sufficiently to steer.


If driving with a travel rug to keep the legs warm, make sure it doesn't get caught between feet and pedals.


Remember to wear distance glasses. Do not put on reading glasses to check speedometer.


You may feel more comfortable driving with your teeth out. The glass with your dentures will fit nicely into the bit where other drivers keep their cup of coffee from Starbucks. Do not put teeth in or out while the car is in motion.


Wear your hearing aid so that instructions from your dear wife in the back seat come through loud and clear. The spouse may wish to bring along a couple of her coffee morning friends to help sustain the flow of information.


Driving on the pavement is safer but only if using a mobility scooter or powered wheelchair. If in a motor vehicle, use the big wider bits next to the pavements. Try to travel in the direction of the traffic to avoid confusing other road users.


On motorways, stick to the lane marked "80 and over". You will see a road sign with an old frail couple, one with a walking stick. This indicates you are approaching a service station for octogenarian drivers.

These rest stops are equipped with Parker Knoll chairs for a wee sleep or to relax by watching some daytime TV. A cup of hot sweet tea and a digestive biscuit are provided before setting off again.


Police warn that the new legal limit of no more than 50 milligrams per 100 millilitres of Horlicks or Ovaltine in the blood will be rigorously enforced.



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