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Fixing the economy - Dear Mr Cameron.......


CliveH

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Sent to me by one of my clients - certainly has merit:-

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Cameron,

 

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

 

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

 

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

 

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

 

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

 

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

 

2) They MUST buy a new British built car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

 

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

 

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

 

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

 

It can't get any easier than that!

 

If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

 

 

The Elderly - Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home..

 

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

 

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

 

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

 

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

 

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals for which far more is spent on prison food than on NHS patient food and snacks to their cell.

 

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

 

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

 

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

 

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

 

Assuming most are non-violent (not always thye case) each senior could be "low risk and so have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

 

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints (More than the NHS ond most Nursing homes do) And the "guards" have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

 

 

The Criminals

 

In contrast the criminals in a NHS bed or the average Nursing Home would get cold food costing a fraction of what they were used to in prison which is often left just out of reach. Then left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

 

 

Mad Cow disease and illegal immigrants

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? This applies to all livestock all over the UK.

 

And, we can even tracked her calves to their stalls.

 

But the powers that be are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants who "fell off the radar" and are now wandering around our country doing goodness knows what.

 

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

(lol) (lol) (lol)

 

Made me think tho!!!

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