Guest Tracker Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 1. A bicycle cannot stand alone because it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like the wind fruit flies like peaches. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your count that votes. 6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A- flat miner. 10. When a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds. 11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. 13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. 15. A calendar's days are numbered. 16. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 17. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. 18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. 19. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 20. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. 21. If you jump off a Paris bridge you're in Seine . 22. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye. 23. Bakers swap bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 24. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 25. Acupuncture: a jab well done. 26. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of d'feet. 27. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 28. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 29. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of maths disruption. 30. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 31. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 32. Two silk worms had a race but they ended up in a tie. 33. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 34. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 36. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 37. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 38. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 39. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 40. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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