Judge Mental Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I don’t think I’ve mentioned before that I recently decided to sell the coach built (CB) motorhome that I had previously, and buy a panel van conversation (PVC). I did this after very long and careful research and I also telephoned or wrote to about fifty motorhoming experts, whose information I gleaned from several magazines and websites. Every single one of these knowledgeable people confirmed what I had already deduced myself, that PVCs are, without a shadow of doubt, far superior in every respect to CBs. I cannot believe that, for several years, I have been foolish enough to drive CBs, and can only conclude that I must have been brainwashed by advertising, as anyone on here who knows me is aware that I am of superior intelligence to almost every other member of this forum although, in order not to appear too high and mighty, I usually disguise my high IQ by deliberately writing with the spelling and grammar of someone who left school at twelve, but that’s typical me, modest and unassuming. My PVC has been a revelation! I can only compare my decision to invest in one of these marvellous machines as akin to St. Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus. My PVC is faster than any CB and, from 0–60 mph, I can see off a Porsche 911. I regularly achieve 60 mpg and that’s when driving it hard and flying round scores of French roundabouts, which I can take as though the camper is on rails. My previous CBs would often topple over if I tried to more than a brisk walking space when going round any sharp bend. It’s more comfortable, the beds are longer, the storage space is enormous and, in the depths of winter when the snow is half-way up the windows, we are as warm as toast with the heater just on its lowest settings. I think that the biggest advantage though has been to my sex life. My wife loves the PVC so much more than the CB and, so content is she, that she seems permanently randy. It really has spiced up our marriage and, as a consequence,I now no longer need to go on expensive trips to Thailand to spend a fortune in the Happy Lucky Massage Parlour in downtown Pattaya. One of the biggest surprises was actually buying it. Forget these British manufacturers who want a deposit! I bought mine from Belgium and whatever I wanted was in stock. Silver with a satellite dome and full oven? Available now sir! Canary yellow with an auto gearbox, air conditioning, no oven and a wind-out sun canopy? No problem sir, as usual, we have it in stock. Deposit? Good God sir, we don’t want a deposit! If you order a PVC and cancel it we can sell it tomorrow without any problem! Not only did they not want a deposit but, as a thank you for favouring them with my business, they gave me a thousand pounds so that my wife and I could travel to Belgium first class and stay in the best hotel whilst they delivered the ‘van to the port and then chauffeured us in a limo to collect it and drive it on the ferry. So there you have it, my unbiased and totally fair assessment of the reasons why anyone with any degree of intelligence will never buy one of these stupid CBs, and why they should never be so foolish as to actually order one, particularly from a rip-off British company, whose only aim is to foul up your order just so that they can sue you in the courts and eventually end up owning everything you possess, including your home! You know it makes sense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Ha ha ha....Another boring numpty with an axe to grind.... Obsessive verbal garbage from one of our own I suspect...surely not ****** they cant be that bad...And no I have not read the above, so you can put away the lubricant and tissues as your not getting your jolly's from moi :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepe63xnotuse Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 ..but credit where credit is due Eddie...it IS funny mate!! (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayjsj Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Err ! here's one for a start, what was your payload on your PVC again ? (I see the 'Red Rags to bulls' are out again ?) he he. ps And a 10 year water ingress warranty is 'comforting'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Pepe, I know imitation supposedly best form of flattery but really, I cant be assed!:D Err..Ray, you don't need a water ingress warranty with a tin box?and the OP is not moi but an imposter? :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euroserv Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Excellent. We all needed that. Sorry that it's at Eddies expense but good, well researched writing deserves credit! Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
747 Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 And when you are not on holiday, you can deliver parcels. :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Have you no shame Eddie *-)..........think of those young ladies from the Happy Lucky massage parlour, who will now be destitute due to the lack of your custom 8-)....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertandjean Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 What a really funny, well put together post; which we had come up with it. Come on Eddie it does sum your views up well and is a good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Jones Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I think this is a double-bluff. The OP really IS our Eddie, assuming a false-false identity! Look, anyone else would've used Eddie's personal avatart to make it more convincing (easy to do - I'll attach it). Eddie deliberately didn't to try to convince us it wasn't really him. Plus, all the views in it would only be expressed by someone who was "Judgemental!" EDDIT: Sorry, I meant AVATAR of course. Freudian slip??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rupert123 Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Sorry Eddie but this is brilliant, perhaps they could try me next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Tony Jones - 2012-11-21 5:16 PM I think this is a double-bluff. The OP really IS our Eddie, assuming a false-false identity! Look, anyone else would've used Eddie's personal avatart to make it more convincing (easy to do - I'll attach it). Eddie deliberately didn't to try to convince us it wasn't really him. Plus, all the views in it would only be expressed by someone who was "Judgemental!" EDDIT: Sorry, I meant AVATAR of course. Freudian slip??? Honestly! and you a vicar! Sorry folks but I take it personally.... just a gutless cretin without the cajoles to identify themselves...Simply aimed at undermining my views and distorting moi's contributions, I am after all the arch defender of the daft and gullible! (PV or CB it matters not! :D) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianBW Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 God! I wish I had the time to put together such nonentity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euroserv Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Has anyone else been wondering if anyone on here regularly posts with that particularly feint typeface? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JudgeMental Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 BrianBW - 2012-11-21 5:50 PM God! I wish I had the time to put together such nonentity! probably twiddling thumbs awaiting delivery of unique vehicles to convert? :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 euroserv - 2012-11-21 6:05 PM Has anyone else been wondering if anyone on here regularly posts with that particularly feint typeface? Wot 8-)..............you mean someone would use subterfuge and clandestine methods to malign a member of this forum 8-) 8-)................ Da da daaaaaa...........is no one safe? :-S....................Who'll be next? :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnp Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 (lol) the best post I have seen :D (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 The original poster has opted for the 'rich edit' means of entering text, and has used the Verdana typeface, which looks like this. I use it sparingly in my web creations, as it takes up more space across the page for a given point size. However, Verdana is useful for headings and sub-headings. The rest of us can't be bothered to change the default Arial typeface, which looks like this. Shaun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Shaun - 2012-11-21 6:38 PMThe original poster has opted for the 'rich edit' means of entering text, and has used the Verdana typeface, which looks like this. I use it sparingly in my web creations, as it takes up more space across the page for a given point size. However, Verdana is useful for headings and sub-headings. The rest of us can't be bothered to change the default Arial typeface, which looks like this. ShaunYou mean someones been fiddling in the Judges Font? :-S........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Uzzell Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 jnp - 2012-11-21 6:30 PM (lol) the best post I have seen :D (lol) (lol) Though it does seem to conflict with 15.4.12 of the forum's Acceptable Use Policy that I'm sure everyone will be familiar with http://www.outandaboutlive.co.uk/Information/termsconditions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Derek Uzzell - 2012-11-21 6:44 PM jnp - 2012-11-21 6:30 PM (lol) the best post I have seen :D (lol) (lol) Though it does seem to conflict with 15.4.12 of the forum's Acceptable Use Policy that I'm sure everyone will be familiar with http://www.outandaboutlive.co.uk/Information/termsconditions 15.4Contributions must not: 15.4.1contain any material which is defamatory of any person; 15.4.2contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; 15.4.3promote sexually explicit material; 15.4.4promote violence; 15.4.5promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; 15.4.6infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; 15.4.7be likely to deceive any person; 15.4.8be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; 15.4.9promote any illegal activity; 15.4.10be threatening, abuse or invade another's privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; 15.4.11be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; 15.4.12be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; 15.4.13give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or 15.4.14advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse. Oooop's :$....... does all that apply to "Chatterbox"? :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I'm off to buy a new pvc in the expectation that with so much power I will not only be able to outrun any Porsche but with stubby wings fitted it will be able to fly and still consume less fuel than a moped running as it does on Red Bull and I owe a sincere debt of gratitude to my old mate for bringing this marvel of modern technology to my attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinhood Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 pelmetman - 2012-11-21 6:49 PM 15.4Contributions must not: 15.4.1contain any material which is defamatory of any person; 15.4.2contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; 15.4.3promote sexually explicit material; 15.4.4promote violence; 15.4.5promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; 15.4.6infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; 15.4.7be likely to deceive any person; 15.4.8be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; 15.4.9promote any illegal activity; 15.4.10be threatening, abuse or invade another's privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; 15.4.11be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; 15.4.12be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; 15.4.13give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or 15.4.14advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse. Oooop's :$....... does all that apply to "Chatterbox"? :-S ....only if it's all in the same post. Consider yourself banned! ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Kirby Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Bit unkind nicking an identity, but still an excellent chuckle. It's no worse than a political cartoon. We're all liable to be prey to the caricaturist, aren't we? I wonder who'll be next? :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pelmetman Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Robinhood - 2012-11-21 7:06 PM Consider yourself banned! ;-) Thought so :'(........................I'm going outside now :-(................I maybe sometime 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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