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And now for something completely different!


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An elderly gentleman goes to his doctor for his physical, and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution.

 

 

When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

 

 

The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.

 

 

I want you to lie on your right side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,

 

'99'.

 

The chap obeys and says,

 

"99".

 

The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,

 

'99".

 

Again, he says,

 

'99'."

 

The doctor said, “Very good”.

 

Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.

 

I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.

 

Now take a deep breath and say,

 

'99'.

 

The gentleman begins,

 

"One...

 

two…

 

three…"

 

 

You don't stop laughing because you grow old.

 

You grow old because you stop laughing!

 

 

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The Jewish taxi driver

 

 

 

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into

A taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat.

 

The cab driver, an older Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide

and stared at the woman.

 

He made no attempt to start the cab.

 

The woman glared back at him and said,

"What's wrong with you honey - haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

 

The driver answered,

"Let me tell you sumsing, lady I vasn't staring at you like you tink; det vould not be proper vair

I come from."

 

The drunk woman giggled and responded,

 

"Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or bum sweetie, what are you doing then"?

 

He paused a moment, then told her..

"Vell, M'aam. I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself,

Vair in da blazes is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis cab ride?"

 

 

 

Now, that's a REAL Businessman!

 

 

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Did anyone see that "Old Jews Telling Jokes" over on BBC4(?) last night..?

 

I only caught a bit of it but I found it funny..as it made a nice change from the "F"in' and blinding type of humour that is all too common(..Whoa!..I'm sounding like my Dad!? 8-) )

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01p2pm8/More_Old_Jews_Telling_Jokes_Episode_1/

 

(..not sure if that's the same episode or not though).

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