APARTMENT for RENT

[Syd]

APARTMENT for RENT

 

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend

the night with her for $500. They did their thing,

and, before he left, he told her that he did

not have any cash with him, but he would have his

secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling

the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

 

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had

done, realizing that the whole event had not been

worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

 

'Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your

apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,

because when I rented the place, I was under the

impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;

#2 - there was plenty of heat; and

#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,

#2 - there wasn't any heat, and

#3 - it was entirely too large.'

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately

returned the check for $250 with the following note:

 

'Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a

beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you

know how to turn it on.

#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of

regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture

to fill it, please do not blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced

to contact your present landlady...

[CliveH]

David Cameron had the same urge.

 

So one day about a month ago, he was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local lounge, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

 

To the Blonde he said, "You probably know me - I am the PM!! . Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?

 

She replied, £500."

 

To the Brunette he asked the same question.

 

Her reply was £300.

 

He then asked the Redhead.

 

Her reply was, "Mr Cameron, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages such that I have to do this with (it's not nice to insult people)s like you to get by, get that thing of yours as hard as the times, and keep it rising like prices, keep me warmer than it was in my apartment last winter and screw me the way you do the country, then believe me, Mr. Cameron, it isn't going to cost you a penny."