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I want one o them things


Colin Leake

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Some folks have small solar lights round their motorhomes. Not a bad idea when they are used to mark guy rope pegs. Some have Christmas lights round their motorhomes but I'm more ambisious. I've been watching the closing of the commonwealth games and they had these realy cool devices that projected balls of flame into the air. I want to have one mounted on the motorhome roof with a sensor to activate it after dusk every time anyone walked buy. Just imagine the effect it would have on someone who had been at the vino. Would make pink elephants seem tame.
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Modern technology does lend itself to practical jokes as well as exhibitionism, doesn't it?

 

My fantasy is for smoke grenades mounted on the rear of my vehicle which would be triggered when someone is tailgating aggressively. Nice big puff of smoke for him the drive into suddenly.

 

A single puff would probably be too transient, so ideally a series of little ones or a steady stream would be better. It would have to look innocently grey/blue, like a blown engine. Pink smoke would give the game away.

 

Unfortunately the smoke would probably also make a mess of the back of my vehicle so the idea's gone back into the pending tray for further thought.

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Robinhood - 2014-08-05 8:35 AM

 

....do the pink elephants live in the garage with the bear? ;-)

 

(I'll get my coat!). ;-)

 

No no the pink elephants are not realy there. They are something one only think one sees when drunk.

 

There bears doing well and enjoying his holidays. He thanks you for remembering him. We are thinking of changing to a van conversion so we will be taking him to the show in October to see where he can live when on holiday.

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Stuart. If you have a petrol powered van all that needed is a Redex injection system. As an apprentice mechanic we were allowed to work on our own vehicles on saturday afternoons and a good dose of Redex in the carb perked up the motor for an hour or so but also completly filled the worshop with white smoke.

 

I always thought that a suitable kit would have sold well for the Jags used as bank holdup getaway cars.

 

An oil injector into a diesel engine air intake would produce plenty of black smoke but probably ruin the catylitic converter.

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I Nigeria they have steel poles that swing out from low down on the side to counter hijackers. Hits them on the leg and if they don't fall down one simply drives away with the bars extended sweeping the hijackers off their feet. A friend who used to work for Shell there told,me they work very well and are very common.
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Billggski - 2014-08-13 5:16 PM

 

These are apparently quite common in South Africa to deter hijacks at traffic lights.

How well they would go down with an emissions test is another matter.

 

Haha, but does burning a man alive count as 'reasonable force' in that situation? Wouldn't you still end up in court?

 

Interesting story Colin - I knew SA could be quite dangerous for car jackings, but all these measures are quite a shock...

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A chap I know goes to South Africa on business occassionally and his Company arranges an armed bodyguard to be with him all the time from the minute he gets off the plane until he gets back on one to fly home. Last time he went the security risk had been assessed as higher so he got two of them! He stays in the hotel and takes special secure transport to the workplace and back again; no strolling around on the streets at all.

 

It seems to be a pretty dangerous place.

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StuartO - 2014-08-05 10:03 AMModern technology does lend itself to practical jokes as well as exhibitionism, doesn't it?My fantasy is for smoke grenades mounted on the rear of my vehicle which would be triggered when someone is tailgating aggressively. Nice big puff of smoke for him the drive into suddenly.A single puff would probably be too transient, so ideally a series of little ones or a steady stream would be better. It would have to look innocently grey/blue, like a blown engine. Pink smoke would give the game away.Unfortunately the smoke would probably also make a mess of the back of my vehicle so the idea's gone back into the pending tray for further thought.

Was wondering if, rather than smoke, a targeted stink bomb would deter the tail-gater, specially if it had a sticky texture. some form of lazer targeting or maybe linked to a joystick on the reversing cam.........................
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  • 2 weeks later...
StuartO - 2014-08-05 9:03 AM

 

Modern technology does lend itself to practical jokes as well as exhibitionism, doesn't it?

 

My fantasy is for smoke grenades mounted on the rear of my vehicle which would be triggered when someone is tailgating aggressively. Nice big puff of smoke for him the drive into suddenly.

 

A single puff would probably be too transient, so ideally a series of little ones or a steady stream would be better. It would have to look innocently grey/blue, like a blown engine. Pink smoke would give the game away.

 

Unfortunately the smoke would probably also make a mess of the back of my vehicle so the idea's gone back into the pending tray for further thought.

I have a fog machine left over from my band playing days. Would work well with a decent inverter
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Guest Had Enough

Sales of my gas mask kits (£299 plus postage) have been going very well thanks to us being so well informed about the vast number of gas attacks that are happening all over Europe.

 

I'm still getting calls though from people who are deeply worried about their pets as it's hard to source a decent gas mask for a dog.

 

After a lot of research by my Motorhome Perils team, yes, I really do have one, I've come up with this. It's not cheap but you won't need the gas masks so there's a saving there.

 

H.E's Electric Fence. It consists of a roll-up electric fence six feet high. It comes with its own trailer, forty gel batteries and a 5000 watt inverter. Guaranteed to stun and not kill, unless you're under eleven stone or have a dodgy heart, in which case death is more or less a certainty.

 

Special opening offer to OAL members at £9999 plus only £200 delivery.

 

It may seem expensive, but what price is your life worth? We all know that it can't be long before someone inhales just a bit too much carbon monoxide and bingo - call the undertaker.

 

So, forget, twinkly lights, forget all the silly gizmos, invest in the safety of you and your family. Oh, and Rover and Fido as well. No small dogs have been killed in gas attacks so far, which is odd as, compared to a man, it wouldn't take much CO, but it's bound to happen soon.

1995016296_HEsElectricFence.jpg.258feaab9651b61dff9ca29a0275ee43.jpg

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Had Enough - 2014-08-25 1:22 PM

 

Sales of my gas mask kits (£299 plus postage) have been going very well thanks to us being so well informed about the vast number of gas attacks that are happening all over Europe.

 

I'm still getting calls though from people who are deeply worried about their pets as it's hard to source a decent gas mask for a dog.

 

After a lot of research by my Motorhome Perils team, yes, I really do have one, I've come up with this. It's not cheap but you won't need the gas masks so there's a saving there.

 

H.E's Electric Fence. It consists of a roll-up electric fence six feet high. It comes with its own trailer, forty gel batteries and a 5000 watt inverter. Guaranteed to stun and not kill, unless you're under eleven stone or have a dodgy heart, in which case death is more or less a certainty.

 

Special opening offer to OAL members at £9999 plus only £200 delivery.

 

It may seem expensive, but what price is your life worth? We all know that it can't be long before someone inhales just a bit too much carbon monoxide and bingo - call the undertaker.

 

So, forget, twinkly lights, forget all the silly gizmos, invest in the safety of you and your family. Oh, and Rover and Fido as well. No small dogs have been killed in gas attacks so far, which is odd as, compared to a man, it wouldn't take much CO, but it's bound to happen soon.

 

 

[/quote

]I'm really impressed with the pet gas mask idea.

I don't suppose you sell one for a canary do you?

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Guest Had Enough
Chris PegasusFinance - 2014-08-26 3:08 PM

 

Haha, I found your post fascinating Had Enough - but how does an electric fence guard from gas attacks?

 

It stops them getting close enough to put the gas in. And at night you remove the warning signs so that anyone trying to get within a couple of feet is severely incapacitated or, as I said, if they're under eleven stone or have a dicky ticker, death is probable. But I think we'll all agree that it's a small price to pay to protect little Trixibelle.

 

 

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Guest Had Enough
pkc - 2014-08-26 3:23 PM

 

]I'm really impressed with the pet gas mask idea.

I don't suppose you sell one for a canary do you?

 

You are a silly Billy aren't you? How the hell can you put a gas mask on a canary? You need my Gas Proof Canary Cage. As you can see it's sealed against all noxious gasses and the cylinder at the top feeds in enough oxygen to last for twelve hours.

 

If you're not too fond of the bird, or you got it for nothing, removing the side panel converts it into a gas warning device. The minute those pesky Albanian mobsters start pumping in the carbon monoxide, the canary, which is very sensitive to it, drops off its perch, both literally and metaphorically.

 

At only £399 plus postage it's very good value and will protect little Joey against any nasty substances.

 

I've always been one for spotting a gap in the market and my Motorhome Perils' Team is working flat out on some very interesting products.

 

 

 

1194086319_GasProofCanaryCage.jpg.a98ae0dda930904d708290b634a3f956.jpg

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Had Enough - 2014-08-26 4:14 PM

 

pkc - 2014-08-26 3:23 PM

 

]I'm really impressed with the pet gas mask idea.

I don't suppose you sell one for a canary do you?

 

You are a silly Billy aren't you? How the hell can you put a gas mask on a canary? You need my Gas Proof Canary Cage. As you can see it's sealed against all noxious gasses and the cylinder at the top feeds in enough oxygen to last for twelve hours.

 

If you're not too fond of the bird, or you got it for nothing, removing the side panel converts it into a gas warning device. The minute those pesky Albanian mobsters start pumping in the carbon monoxide, the canary, which is very sensitive to it, drops off its perch, both literally and metaphorically.

 

At only £399 plus postage it's very good value and will protect little Joey against any nasty substances.

 

I've always been one for spotting a gap in the market and my Motorhome Perils' Team is working flat out on some very interesting products.

 

 

 

. I am suitably admonished, £399 you say.

Sounds cheep enough.

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