DarcyDog Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forester Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 10/10 Going to get the other 1/2 to show her, I bet she says it's nothing like me & then I will have to make my own dinner?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forester Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 I was wrong, I not only have to do my Sunday dinner but do my own washing! But there again she looked at the why are men happier saw i wrote it and went to her mates house cussing me. I WILL do dinner bet she won't tell me again. he he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzy Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Love that one :-)))) ROFLOL Strip off all clothes, grab shampoo and shower gel, step outside front door ......... it's been a down-pour all day. Thunder, the works ......... such a waste to watch all that goodness flooding down the street *-) Trying to start a trend here ;-) so glad I'm not camping :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I read this on Sunday night and then went into the living room, through the glass door I could see my husband, naked, on his way to the bathroom (we're in a bungalow), he spotted me and guess what he did .... shook "it" all around but without the "woo woo" sound, a big daft grin on his face instead!!! He couldn't understand why I fell about laughing ... he was quite insulted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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