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Life and work advice needed


capcloser

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Have a problem at work that's really stressing me out any advice or criticism welcome, here goes. About 5yrs ago the person I work with was diagnosed with a serious health problem which I won't go into but which affects energy levels on a day to day basis.I was asked if I minded doing a bit more to help out and as we are also friends I agreed, the department I work in is very busy and involves a lot of lifting some heavy.Here we are 5yrs on and I am doing 70% of the work and feel tired and stressed all the time,spoke to a supervisor who suggested I speak to HR which I did and they said they would speak to them which they did, result I have a meeting with HR next week accused of bullying and being generally unpleasant to said person ,I feel really upset and let down by both the company and the friend who has basically lied to keep a job that they can no longer do I am ready to quit and just walk away but don't know what to do.Obviously I can only give you my side of the saga but I assure you all I am not a bully.I have been told to prepare some notes as a defence at this meeting but I feel like telling them to shove it! What the hell do I do?perhaps I should have sent this to an agony aunt lol
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Have you tried talking to the person involved to put your point of view and more importantly to gauge his point of view as he might possibly agree with you - especially if you can talk to him before HR do?

 

If you are in a union, not that I like unions, ask them for support or maybe another member of staff would accompany you as an advocate or referee?

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I spoke to the person concerned and explained how the extra work load was affecting me and I quote they said tough which made me take it further because of their attitude, we can take someone with us to the meeting my problem is I am upset and afraid I may get angry at the meeting. I have raised concerns with management in the past but feel I was fobbed off.We were offered a sit down chat together with HR I agreed but other side refused so here we are now,there is fault on all sides but I am being cast as the bad guy but partner supports me whatever I decide to do
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Whatever happens you must keep your cool and try to remain calm and not be at all hostile in any meetings and if it were me I would be speaking to ACAS now before any meetings or decisions are taken.

I am no expert but maybe then at least if you do end up leaving you might have an employment tribunal for wrongful constructive dismissal to fall back on for which you will need to go via ACAS anyway?

HR and management should also bear in mind that whoever takes your place may not be quite so accommodating as you have been and that just as those with disabilities have rights so does everyone else in the workplace so maybe it is their failure to support your colleague and by default fail to support you too that is the root of the issue?

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Guest pelmetman

Personally I'd be looking for another job, but there again I am unemployable :D ...........

 

I can't be ar*ed with stress...........a change is as good as a rest ;-) ..........

 

 

 

 

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I would agree that you need an independent witness with you don't let them go one to one also ask nicely if they mind if you record the proceedings which will keep them honest. If it's a job you enjoy don't give up without a fight you are obviously worth more as an enthusiastic team member than a shirker. If you just walk away you will look guilty. John
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Like Rich said, don't lose your cool and bite your lip and get a witness if possible. Definetly get ACAS involved, as for the other chap I think I'm correct in saying that he must attend a meeting of this nature if he is involved. Main thing is, can you prove he is lying? Have you any work mates that can back your side of the story up, if you have now's the time you need them.

 

Dave

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Thanks guys for the advice I've been sitting here stressing but I've calmed down now and your comments have given me some stuff to think about I really appreciate all your input, I have decided to note down a few things and we'll see how we go will post what happens thanks again
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Have you any records of what you do between you day to day, to back up your perception that you are doing 75%?

 

If not, how about asking for someone to observe your workplace and note who does what on an occasional (unannounced) basis, say at different times every day for one week, so that a picture can be gained of what is going on? Someone observing for a day wouldn't be much use, as other party could just pull out all the stops to present himself in the best possible way.

 

Maybe someone else is needed part time to relieve pressure at particular times? Alternatively, if other party really can't cope, could they transfer to work they can do, and someone else take his place. After all, if you were to leave it seems the whole issue would come to the surface quite quickly as anyone taking your place would surely soon notice the balance of workload was one sided.

 

As others have said, make your notes, present your own case in a polite, measured, but firm way, and above everything, don't lose your rag. :-) Good luck.

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Guest pelmetman
teflon2 - 2015-06-02 7:26 PM

 

If you just walk away you will look guilty. John

 

I doubt it :-| .............If Cap is doing 70% of the work, it'll soon become obvious to those in charge who is the guilty party...... when only 30% of the caps get closed ;-) .............

 

 

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As luck would have it I have spoken to the 2 guys who act as holiday relief today, they have both covered me for a week when I've been off and it turns out they have both said they will not work with said person again because of the unfair work load, one is happy to support me the other is reluctant because he is a young lad who has not worked here long but could be persuaded, looks like things are looking better!
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capcloser - 2015-06-03 3:10 PM

 

As luck would have it I have spoken to the 2 guys who act as holiday relief today, they have both covered me for a week when I've been off and it turns out they have both said they will not work with said person again because of the unfair work load, one is happy to support me the other is reluctant because he is a young lad who has not worked here long but could be persuaded, looks like things are looking better!

 

Cool B-) .........So looks like you have corroborating evidence to back you up ;-) ............But will you still have to work with the said person? :-| ............Could be a bit of a atmosphere 8-)...........

 

 

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Person has been taken off the job temporarily and by all reports is not very happy about it,don't know what will happen long term but at least the company is now aware of the situation although they should have known anyway will see person at work tomorrow but doubt if they will talk to me
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pelmetman - 2015-06-03 9:50 AM

 

teflon2 - 2015-06-02 7:26 PM

 

If you just walk away you will look guilty. John

 

I doubt it :-| .............If Cap is doing 70% of the work, it'll soon become obvious to those in charge who is the guilty party...... when only 30% of the caps get closed ;-) .............

 

 

 

It was the bulling accusation I meant.

;-)
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Guest pelmetman
teflon2 - 2015-06-03 7:25 PM

 

pelmetman - 2015-06-03 9:50 AM

 

teflon2 - 2015-06-02 7:26 PM

 

If you just walk away you will look guilty. John

 

I doubt it :-| .............If Cap is doing 70% of the work, it'll soon become obvious to those in charge who is the guilty party...... when only 30% of the caps get closed ;-) .............

 

 

 

It was the bulling accusation I meant.

;-)

 

Well in that case he's guilty as hell, coming on here starting fights and leading young innocents like me astray 8-) ............

 

:D

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Thanks Dave but I should point out I'm only guilty of gentle wind ups on here lol! Breaking news had a meeting with HR this morning and it went quite well, turns out I'm not the ogre I was made out to be and I am a valued employee they don't want to lose,mind you if I was an MP that would probably mean I'm on my way out! This post and the replies is chatterbox at it's best thanks
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capcloser - 2015-06-04 3:16 PM

 

Thanks Dave but I should point out I'm only guilty of gentle wind ups on here lol! Breaking news had a meeting with HR this morning and it went quite well, turns out I'm not the ogre I was made out to be and I am a valued employee they don't want to lose,mind you if I was an MP that would probably mean I'm on my way out! This post and the replies is chatterbox at it's best thanks

 

Bit of a result eh? B-) ..............Although I stand by my observation a change is good as a rest ;-) .......Your clearly an intelligent and articulate bloke, with a supportive partner........So why not see what else is available?.............Moving on......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Has made me the annoying git I am now (lol) ...........

 

 

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capcloser - 2015-06-04 8:30 PM

 

Have certainly considered a change, both have a few ideas,obviously I strive towards annoying gitdom but I'm afraid I'm still learning, I've only just passed my annoying know it all finals so a bit more work to do!

 

:D

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hi Cap

Glad things seem a little brighter for you. Remember, if things start going 'off track' again you can make the initial approach by speaking to H.R. A quiet chat is the best way to sort things out if needed, if not you can always take a 'grievance' against the Company.

good luck, there is nothing worse than being unhappy at work

derek

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In the dark days when I worked we were employed for 7 -5 hours per day and paid for that time and expected to work for those paid hours, so if you are able to do 50% extra work or more in your working day , it suggests to me that you were under employed in the first place or am I missing something ??
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vindiboy - 2015-06-06 9:23 PM

 

In the dark days when I worked we were employed for 7 -5 hours per day and paid for that time and expected to work for those paid hours, so if you are able to do 50% extra work or more in your working day , it suggests to me that you were under employed in the first place or am I missing something ??

 

UK productivity is, using a twendy wendy cliche :D .......The elephant in the room ;-) .......

 

I doubt its Caps fault though (lol).......

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-32386492

 

 

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Eyup capcloser you seem to have already done what i would have advised and that would be to take a months holiday ,and see if your workmate can keep up with the job, i dont mind helping anyone at work but if they start to take the p.ss thats a different story:) cheers pp:)
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