RogerC Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Tracker - 2016-01-26 4:11 PMRogerC - 2016-01-26 4:01 PMTracker...I only got one 'noia'..... does it matter if I continue in life with just the one or do I really need a 'pair o' noias' to live in the land of the OTT 'elf n safety' numpties?Following a 20 year investigation into 'noias' at a cost to taxpayers of several million Euros the EU has decided that it would infringe your human rights if 'noias' were limited to one each so much as the control freaks wanted to limit them it is decreed that you can legally have as many 'noias' as you want and can afford.Hope this clarifies it for you Roger! Oh no...do I have to buy my 'noias' now then? It must be an EU edict to bring in more revenue.....I missed that bit of legislation.......I'm wearing out my sole, single, one and only 'noia' now I'm getting 'noiaed' about not having a pair of them and how I am going to be able to afford a pair of noias.......where do I get another one....how much are they and do I get a rebate if I don't use a pair of them very often as up to now I have found a single 'noia' to be sufficient.......or maybe I've been breaking the Brussels dictatorships policy on 'noias'.....is it law we have to have a 'pair'? Oh dear me.....this is going to worry me so much....I'll need to get a 'round' tiut as soon as I can I suppose....so that's another 'noia' when I get a round 'tuit' then and I should be fine.......but how much is a round 'tuit'? ....oh the spiralling costs of EU legislation....I think I need to go and lie down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Uzzell Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Tracker - 2016-01-26 4:12 PM Derek Uzzell - 2016-01-26 4:00 PM Archbishop of York would advise about fornication “You really SHOULD not do this, but it’s LEGALLY fine”. That will come as a huge relief to many Derek - if only as one thing less to be paranoid about! Will the dear old Archbishop define fornication for us so we are in no doubt what we can and cannot do or is that definition now an EU matter? If you GOOGLE on “fornication meaning” you’ll discover that it’s far more complicated than you might think. In fact, it seems to be almost as bewildering Biblically as the legal position in the UK regarding towing a car on an inertia-braked A-frame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 RogerC - 2016-01-26 4:30 PMTracker - 2016-01-26 4:11 PMRogerC - 2016-01-26 4:01 PMTracker...I only got one 'noia'..... does it matter if I continue in life with just the one or do I really need a 'pair o' noias' to live in the land of the OTT 'elf n safety' numpties?Following a 20 year investigation into 'noias' at a cost to taxpayers of several million Euros the EU has decided that it would infringe your human rights if 'noias' were limited to one each so much as the control freaks wanted to limit them it is decreed that you can legally have as many 'noias' as you want and can afford.Hope this clarifies it for you Roger!Oh no...do I have to buy my 'noias' now then? It must be an EU edict to bring in more revenue.....I missed that bit of legislation.......I'm wearing out my sole, single, one and only 'noia' now I'm getting 'noiaed' about not having a pair of them and how I am going to be able to afford a pair of noias.......where do I get another one....how much are they and do I get a rebate if I don't use a pair of them very often as up to now I have found a single 'noia' to be sufficient.......or maybe I've been breaking the Brussels dictatorships policy on 'noias'.....is it law we have to have a 'pair'? Oh dear me.....this is going to worry me so much....I'll need to get a 'round' tiut as soon as I can I suppose....so that's another 'noia' when I get a round 'tuit' then and I should be fine.......but how much is a round 'tuit'? ....oh the spiralling costs of EU legislation....I think I need to go and lie down.Poor Roger - I am so sorry that you have become so rogered out over the question of noias and maybe I can set your sole noia at rest if I explain that I did not mean that you have to buy yet more more noias. Although it is probably true that a nice pair of noias will always be held in higher regard than a solitary noia just as fine pair of anything else often is of greater significance than just the one, as far as I can tell there is no compulsion to aquire more.I apologise for the lack of transparency - obfuscation is an EU requirement - but my reference to affordabilty was meant in the context of affording to pay the hideous costs of complying with the demands of a noia rather than the purchase of extra noias.This being the EU there are of course no refunds for unused noias unless you are a Europeam Parliament Member or senior civil servant in which case all noias are free at source and can be re-sold back to the EU at any time at a huge profit when no longer required.The ruling on the requirement for Tuits of all shapes but particulary the round ones is unlikely to be reached before the next millenium - or whenever they get around to it - whichever comes last.There are at the moment no restrictions on lying down - but just give them time and no doubt they will get around to that too!If it all becomes too much you can always invoke another noia and look for the alleged mystical hole in the fence to escape from darkest Wiltshire!However the principle that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is also under consideration by the EU on the grounds that it might infringe someone's human rights so it might not be any better on the outside by the time you find the hole in the fence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerC Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Tracker - 2016-01-26 4:59 PMRogerC - 2016-01-26 4:30 PMTracker - 2016-01-26 4:11 PMRogerC - 2016-01-26 4:01 PMTracker...I only got one 'noia'..... does it matter if I continue in life with just the one or do I really need a 'pair o' noias' to live in the land of the OTT 'elf n safety' numpties?Following a 20 year investigation into 'noias' at a cost to taxpayers of several million Euros the EU has decided that it would infringe your human rights if 'noias' were limited to one each so much as the control freaks wanted to limit them it is decreed that you can legally have as many 'noias' as you want and can afford.Hope this clarifies it for you Roger! Oh no...do I have to buy my 'noias' now then? It must be an EU edict to bring in more revenue.....I missed that bit of legislation.......I'm wearing out my sole, single, one and only 'noia' now I'm getting 'noiaed' about not having a pair of them and how I am going to be able to afford a pair of noias.......where do I get another one....how much are they and do I get a rebate if I don't use a pair of them very often as up to now I have found a single 'noia' to be sufficient.......or maybe I've been breaking the Brussels dictatorships policy on 'noias'.....is it law we have to have a 'pair'? Oh dear me.....this is going to worry me so much....I'll need to get a 'round' tiut as soon as I can I suppose....so that's another 'noia' when I get a round 'tuit' then and I should be fine.......but how much is a round 'tuit'? ....oh the spiralling costs of EU legislation....I think I need to go and lie down.Poor Roger - I am so sorry that you have become so rogered out over the question of noias and maybe I can set your sole noia at rest if I explain that I did not mean that you have to buy yet more more noias. Although it is probably true that a nice pair of noias will always be held in higher regard than a solitary noia just as fine pair of anything else often is of greater significance than just the one, as far as I can tell there is no compulsion to aquire more.I apologise for the lack of transparency - obfuscation is an EU requirement - but my reference to affordabilty was meant in the context of affording to pay the hideous costs of complying with the demands of a noia rather than the purchase of extra noias.This being the EU there are of course no refunds for unused noias unless you are a Europeam Parliament Member or senior civil servant in which case all noias are free at source and can be re-sold back to the EU at any time at a huge profit when no longer required.The ruling on the requirement for Tuits of all shapes but particulary the round ones is unlikely to be reached before the next millenium - or whenever they get around to it - whichever comes last.There are at the moment no restrictions on lying down - but just give them time and no doubt they will get around to that too!If it all becomes too much you can always invoke another noia and look for the alleged mystical hole in the fence to escape from darkest Wiltshire!However the principle that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is also under consideration by the EU on the grounds that it might infringe someone's human rights so it might not be any better on the outside by the time you find the hole in the fence!Things were going 'swimmingly' until you got to the 'hole in the fence' issue.....Now as one is already on 'this side of the fence' and possibly wonders if indeed the grass is greener on the other side when one does fortuitously find said mythical fence hole and ventures forth through it one then finds oneself on 'that side of the fence' ergo the side one was on is now 'the other side' leaving one with the dilemma as to whether or not the grass is greener on the side one has recently extracted ones self from..........at this point Schroedinger's cat should make an appearance as it is it/he/she that appears to be front and centre in this 'observers paradox' which given it's probability of indeterminate conclusive findings...ergo it will go on forever, a sort of perpetual motion if you will, it is highly is likely to be taxed by Brussels as it would form the basis of a never ending, in perpetuity even an income stream from which none would be exempt.......... For those disposed towards grammatical correctness please excuse the foregoing ramblings which are singularly unpunctuated and reflect the outpourings of mild insanity of one whose 'noia'!! is singlar as in alone, on it's own, not part of a pair it therefore has to be doubly active because society really doesn't recognise one who suffers from 'noia' preferring those with 'pairs of noias'. I thank you. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Fair enough - you got me - I can't compete with that Roger - I can't even understand it let alone respond due in no small part to my own newest paranoia about my inabilty to comprehend my own insanity let alone yours, meanwhile I will continue to enjoy as many noias as I can whilst I am still sane enough so to do! Long live paranoia, in fact long live every pairanoias as nothing beats a nice pair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keninpalamos Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 Charles - 2016-01-26 12:55 AM Our van is great, it has a separate heating system powered by the engine coolant so when we're driving the van is lovely and warm... Clever stuff B-) Mine has that system as well!! ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerThat Posted January 29, 2016 Author Share Posted January 29, 2016 Some great insights (and some random noias!) thanks very much everyone :) I wasn't intending on driving round the M25 with my trusty Carver heater on the go, but I sure was curious as to why they said don't do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Kirby Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 RogerC - 2016-01-27 9:39 PM.........................society really doesn't recognise one who suffers from 'noia' preferring those with 'pairs of noias'. I thank you. :-)My apologies for joining your discourse late and uninvited, but shouldn't the plural of noia be noiæ, and not noias? This would help with your combined beliefs that you are both mildly insane, because if I'm right, your entire discussion has been the product of misunderstanding. QED. OTOH, if I'm wrong, then you can at least continue through life secure in the knowledge that your gas cylinders are not out to get you - even if the rest of the world is. :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 This is an open forum Brian so no need to apologise as all contibutions on such an emotive subject are welcomed and valid, especially for those wishing to join the elite insane of the forum. Welcome indeed! The university that I continue to attend, The Open University of Life, would no doubt suggest that noias would be the appropriate plural in this case under the KISS principle. The only exceptions might be when the topic is being discussed by those who consider themselves to be on a higher plane (and NO I don't mean you!) whether it be natural or artificially induced. As I do not appear to be on a higher plain at the moment, or indeed in a high plane, I still prefer my noias to your noiae. That said under the freedom of disinformation, or misinformation act depending on your own noia, either version is acceptable as apparently there are no right or wrong ways, just different. I have had a deep and meaningful discussion with my gas bottles and I am now happy that neither of them is not out to get me and if they do misbehave then it is just youthful exuberance (they are both still quite young) - I just wish I could say the same of everyone else on here - but I think I still may need to keep that noia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Collings Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Could this thread be retitled as' Just plaine(or plane if you want to give it a lift) Annoiaing. GC Ba at TUOL(failed) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerC Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Brian Kirby - 2016-01-29 11:49 PMRogerC - 2016-01-27 9:39 PM.........................society really doesn't recognise one who suffers from 'noia' preferring those with 'pairs of noias'. I thank you. :-) My apologies for joining your discourse late and uninvited, but shouldn't the plural of noia be noiæ, and not noias? This would help with your combined beliefs that you are both mildly insane, because if I'm right, your entire discussion has been the product of misunderstanding. QED. OTOH, if I'm wrong, then you can at least continue through life secure in the knowledge that your gas cylinders are not out to get you - even if the rest of the world is. :-D How very dare you Sir to incinerate that one is 'mildly' insane...one resembles that remark don'tchaknow!!.....and as for your oh so Europhiley 'continental' offering for the spelling of 'noia/noias'.... 'æ'...heaven forfend Sir.....methinks 'tis but a presumption too far.If might one be so bold as to direct one's detractor to the 'Oxford ENGLISH dictionary'...not that 'noia/noias' are likely to be found residing in that bastion of Britishness but you get my point....it is English/British my dear Sir.....'noia/noias'.....the very thought of 'noiæ' fills one with dread of further inroads being made into the very heart and soul of the foundation....nay the bedrock foundation....the very underpinnings....the language of the British Empire!!.........and furthermore as a race villified, nay persecuted even in modern times for the actions of ones forbears (or was it four bears? confounded confusion and double meanings abound) one can with reasonable surety and confidence assume that the 'noia/noias' having been so deeply and soundly engaged as a result of said vilification that we have most likely employed and utilised in a most profound and eminently British manner the whole of the currently available supply of said 'noia/noias' in the pursuit of repentance for actions for which we have, in reality, no responsibility. One very much doubts that Queen Victoria or her Prime Ministers....all ten of them...and other custodians of that/those most highest of 'seats', considered her/their empire building efforts would result in apologists spouting forth some 100 or so years later. Maybe they didn't have much call for 'noia/noias' back then?? My learned colleague, in terms of inane rambling comments at least, in an earlier contribution indicated there are (possibly/probably/maybe/likely.....ad infinitum...there we go with another invasive literary contribution.....and what have 'they' ever done for us eh? I ask you....damnable Roman chappies coming over here leaving their ad's and infinitum's all over the place!!)....back to the core of the matter...the cost implications in owning and indeed making use of 'noia'noias' that given the current state of 'noianess' flowing hither and thither throughout the land that we do not run out completely. One suspects that market forces might 'possibly' force the costs involved with noia/noias ownership and usage through ones domicile upper portions (roof to you matey). One can only hope and trust in that bastion of Britishness.....The House and the Other place....that under the foreshadowing diplomatic machinations currently being undertaken by our illustrious (although somewhat lacking in Statesmanship) leader that he has his 'noia/noias' firmly under control as an ill disciplined 'noia' as one knows only too well can wreak havoc with ones mental faculties causing the processes of debate, deliberation and decision to deliver delusions of success whatsoever the outcome when viewed in the cold light of day. Therefore one trusts that despite all the whimsical inanity and, to some, seemingly questionable predilections over the ownership, care, spelling of (how very dare one question such a thing and with the introduction of something one considers to be 'Europhilic'!!) and ultimately the useage of a 'noia' or if one can afford it these days, a pair of 'noias' the case for the importance of 'noia' or 'noias' can not in all reality be overstated. After all is said and done if our 'Leader'...hehe.....loses control of his in Brussels we might find we are in but actually out or out but actually in......now that's a 'dai lemma' (that's Welsh dontchano!!) as opposed to a 'Dali Lama'(he's a Johnny foreigner...but quite a nice chap one supposes) because he really does know his 'in' from his 'out' having been forced 'out' of his country and not let back 'in'......see so he really does know his a*** from his elbow.....mind you one supposes being exiled he possibly has need of a 'noia' or two occasionally as he ponders the possibility of ever getting back home....so you see 'noia' or 'noias' are universally useful things to have and are not to be taken lightly....well you don't actually 'take' them more a sort of 'usage' type of employment but the intent you likely understand. And finally....having never been of the opinion that my gas bottles were 'out to get me'.....that you should even consider such a ridiculous activity could take place.......they are inanimate objects Sir, they have no volition of their own and as such have no facility or motor skills which would allow them to 'get' anyone let alone my good self. The very idea that you thought to offer such reassurances (indicates you possibly 'do' think they could 'get' someone??) generates images of a deluded but kindly soul sitting at the keyboard, ......mind conjuring up images of Heath Robinson machinery imbued with a satanic bent....might lead the reader to conclude dear Sir that it could possibly be thyself that is 'mildly' insane? I thank you and goodnight. :-) P.S. QED.....Strange in'it how them there Romans knew all those centuries back about the name of a BBC TV programme :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Kirby Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Oh b*****ks, I give in! :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Collings Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Brian, Sleep on it things will seem better in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 It is better to turn the bottle off else, in an accident, there is a risk that a fire will start if the low-pressure pipes are ruptured. BTW, in France it is a legal requirement to have the bottle turned off while driving. (Not that I have ever known them to check on it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Uzzell Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Bill - 2016-02-03 9:10 AM ...BTW, in France it is a legal requirement to have the bottle turned off while driving... It isn’t... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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