Mel B Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Someone sent me these, thought they might make you giggle: The Future of Nursery Rhymes Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall The structure of the wall was incorrect So he won a grand with Claims Direct. It's Raining, It's Pouring. Oh sh*t, it's Global Warming. Mary had a little lamb her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her between two chunks of bread. Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pie man 'What have u got there?' Said the pie man unto Simon Pies you pillock. Mary had a little lamb it ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon. Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play he kissed them too cause he was gay. Jack and Jill Went up the hill And planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass Now two of his teeth are missing. Mary had a little lamb Its fleece was white and wispy. Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease And now it's black and crispy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 good 'uns Mel - like the Lamb sarnie :-D B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 :D :D Why in the dark ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 'Cause it be dark up here in t'north!!! Well, it usually is when I'm on the forum!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 p'raps it's dark because something fused all the lights - with a woolly jumper Mary had a little lamb it ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon. B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 P'raps it's dark 'cus Mel hasn't got 50p for the 'leccy *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Mary had a little lamb, she kept it in a bucket. Every time the lamb got out the sheep dog tried to catch it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna miller Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Mary had a little pig all night long it was groaning ang grunting she tied it to a five bar gate and kicked it's ........................... whoops, sorry had to go there's somebody at the door :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Mary had a little pig all night long it was groaning ang grunting she tied it to a five bar gate and kicked it's boar for having too much fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carioca Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Jack and Jill Went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jill came down with a £5 but not for carrying water ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Sing a song of sixpence A pocket full of rye Some oik tried to nick it And got punched in the eye! Here we go round the Mulberry bush ... Sat Nav's confused again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 SONG (All together now sung to the song of Magic Moments I'll never for get the smell of the sweat from under your arms pits Two soggy dog ends a packet of three and thats what the charm is . Magic Moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Michele ... what you been sniffing? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Prits stick been sticking the kids zoo animals on the walls. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 You should teach the kids to leave them at the zoo, now unstick them and take them back at once! *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Usinmyknaus Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Washroom sign at a delightful riverside municipal campsite in France this year: "Be careful of the light that the midges do not penetrate washbasins, tubs, ferries and high school diplomas." Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Some seasonal funny pictures .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 And a few more ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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