howie Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Thinking back on some of the threads I think its high time we had a competition to find out who can tell the biggest lies. Not many people know this, but our cupboard under the stairs is really a portal to not only another dimension, but time travel as well. Just come back from the year 2018 and picked out a few items of interest on this forum between now and then. 2010. Tracker undergoes operation and now goes under the username of Cheryl. 2012. Michele renounces sex, takes a vow of silence and becomes a nun. 2013. Bazza posts a funny joke. 2015. Spud knighted for services to transport after finally coning off every known mile of motorway in the U.K. 2016 Dave Newell industries sold to American consortium for £150 billion and Dave buys Wales as a weekend retreat for himself and family. 2017. Mel b withdraws offer of rubber boat for sale as Humberside is now 10m under the north sea. Footnote. Please ignore Bazza quote as a good lie must always be plausible as well. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I have just come back from the year 1970 Howie was just as ugly then as he is now he still had a twinkle in his eye and he was just finding out where Dunshargin was on the map. Wayne had just met maggie and they were really into Mods & rockers Mel had chased the old man around in the playground so much that he vowed one day he would marry her as she was a sweetie. Sylvia & Martin had a vision of leaving the rat race and they did so they took off for France in missing good old blighty they decided to look for a forum as mad as this . FW was so into cameras that one day he dreamed he would have a big consortium rather than a dark room :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza454 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 My Dear Howie,Many thanks for your comments. I consider it an honour to have constructive criticism from such a revered elder statesman as yourself.Unfortunately my best work is not suitable for this Forum, I don't want to incur the wrath of the Moderators and find myself in a similar situation to what poor Cheryl had to endure recently.In fact I am thinking of having a chat with Cheryl and asking her advice on how far she thinks I can push before our friends at MMM Towers become concerned.I will keep you updated with all future developments.Once again, many thanks,Kind regards,Bazza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenewellhome Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I rather like the sound of the 2016 posting :D ;-) And to keep in with the title of the thread I'm George Clooney really! D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 davenewell@home - 2008-03-09 6:55 PM I rather like the sound of the 2016 posting :D ;-) And to keep in with the title of the thread I'm George Clooney really! D. As in George C Looney? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I am unable to take part in this thread as I am unable to tell lies and I am also unable to insult or offend anyone - even that cantankerous four eyed ugly git of an old sod Howie. That's the problem with being perfect I guess - but I can live with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 All tongue in cheek Baz and I would,nt wish to cause you any offence under any circumstances. ;-) Rumour going around that Tony Jones is under investigation by the mods. They suspect that he,s using his 'preacher' front as a way of 'grooming' beautiful young virgins such as Janine, Michele and Melanie for his own depraved ends. Lets see you beat that then. Four huge whoppers all wrapped up in one neat package. :-> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Howie - your nose will be growing too long to get through the door >:-( >:-( :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Who has just booked his seat downstairs then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo3090 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 We have recently returned from a trip round the UK in my motorhome. We travelled the whole journey in reverse in our Fiat X250. We camped for free on motorway service stations, usually in the lorry section. We were given access to Caravan Club sites where we paid just for the pitch, the electric was free. Where there was no electric we used our solar panel which supplied our van with 20watts per hour and powered our lap top computer. When we were visiting towns we parked in car parks for free and were given assistance in finding parking places in town centres by traffic wardens, who gazed in amazement at our land rover on an "A" frame behind our van. We did have some problems with our van but the dealer and base vehicle manufacturer paid for the hotel we needed while they worked on our van throughout the night. We suffered two gas attacks and had all our belongings robbed but the insurance paid out straight away after we contacted them via e-mail from a WiFi point. Yetsreday I decided to trade the van in and it was at the dealers at 9 this morning with the PDI done and a full tank of fuel. We are off to France tomorrow morning, ain't life grand! :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenewellhome Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Come on now Tomo, the art of telling lies is in the fact that they might just be true. An X250 that can reverse? Dealers that can supply a vehicle just like that and fix problems quickly and efficiently? Way too far from real possibilities to be anywhere near true ;-) D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo3090 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Drat and blast, those 2 minor slip ups and your steel trap mind picked up on them in an instant. It's the truth for me from now on, honest! ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mco Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I won the lottery last night so I will buy you all a new motor home. Seeing as you have just had a new one Tony you can choose something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 howie - 2008-03-09 7:30 PM All tongue in cheek Baz and I would,nt wish to cause you any offence under any circumstances. ;-) Rumour going around that Tony Jones is under investigation by the mods. They suspect that he,s using his 'preacher' front as a way of 'grooming' beautiful young virgins such as Janine, Michele and Melanie for his own depraved ends. Lets see you beat that then. Four huge whoppers all wrapped up in one neat package. :-> You saying I'm fat Howie!!! Of course I am young and beautiful and way out of your league (plus its my birthday today!!!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Godiva Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I have not just joined this site tonight. And I am very disapointed to see that nobody has a sense of humour. All my friends think I am completely normal because I have a slight interest in camping. I am so unhappy to see that everyone else is normal and boring and takes themselves far too serious. Because we all wear wellingtons and drink from flasks with our 'benny' hats on, or at least thats what my friends don't think! (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Le Thou Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 The way I see it Lady G is that you are 100% correct.....you do have a sense of humour.....can't see too many on here drinking from a flask, we are far too civilised for that, as for beanies and wellies we ALL have the T shirts for that one !!!! Any chance you are on your horse in Lancashire this week , I can travel if needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Le Thou Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Mel B - 2008-03-10 8:01 PM howie - 2008-03-09 7:30 PM All tongue in cheek Baz and I would,nt wish to cause you any offence under any circumstances. ;-) Rumour going around that Tony Jones is under investigation by the mods. They suspect that he,s using his 'preacher' front as a way of 'grooming' beautiful young virgins such as Janine, Michele and Melanie for his own depraved ends. Lets see you beat that then. Four huge whoppers all wrapped up in one neat package. :-> You saying I'm fat Howie!!! Of course I am young and beautiful and way out of your league (plus its my birthday today!!!). Happy birthday.......................you can always go on a diet but ugliness go to the bone...(that's just something fat people say) OOps am I being non PC with that statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Godiva Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Giggle giggle, no sorry, not worth the travel either. Not tall, blonde or naked on a horse in Coventry, lol! However, thats not to say I wouldn't if anyone knows a fantastic surgeon who can transform this 5ft brunett in to a 6ft blonde. Magicians dont count, I'v tried that. :-D :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Mel B - 2008-03-10 8:01 PM howie - 2008-03-09 7:30 PM You saying I'm fat Howie!!! Of course I am young and beautiful and way out of your league (plus its my birthday today!!!). Happy Birthday Melanie on this really special day for a really special young lady. Of course you,re not fat (whopper,s another word for lie you know), and the many pictures you,ve sent in only confirm that you are indeed not only young and beautiful, but that you also possess that inner beauty we men find so fatally attractive and what other women would jealously die for. May I wish you many more joyous birthdays to come in the hope that you continue to brighten this forum with a presence that brings sunshine and pleasure to all you encounter. Howie XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peakepilote Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 For those of you who thought that my avtar was a photo of a very famous film star, it is indeed a picture of me taken in the prime of my career as a Turkish cud chewer back in the late eighties . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omidknight Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I once travelled to Ashford Kent when it should have been Ashford Middx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Rob, your Sat Nav was working then Ria *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohgrandma Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Must do some housework now the Cleaner hasn,t turned up Again, 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maryowlgirl Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Can't stay here gossiping, the Queen is coming for tea today (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 maryowlgirl - 2008-03-11 9:42 AM Can't stay here gossiping, the Queen is coming for tea today (lol) I didn't realise just how much Howie gets around the country! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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