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Alternative meanings for common words


bob b

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Coffee....................The person upon whom one coughs.

 

Flabbergasted......Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

 

Abdicate...............To give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 

Esplanade............to attempt an explanation while drunk.

 

Willy-nilly...............Impotent.

 

Negligent............Absently mindedly opening the door when wearing only a nightgown.

 

Lymph...............To walk with a lisp

 

Gargoyle...........Olive-flavoured mouthwash

 

Flatulence.........Emergency vehicle that picks up someone run over by a steamroller.

 

Balderdash........A rapidly receding hairline.

 

Testicle..............A humorous question on an exam.

 

Rectitude..........The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

 

Pokermon..........A Rastifarian proctologist.

 

Oyster..............A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

 

Frisbeetarianism.....The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto

the roof and gets stuck there.

 

Circumvent......An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by jewish men.

 

 

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